When The Stars Align

Chapter 17: Bright as a Rainbow

Routine was something Beca had picked up from Aubrey way back in high school. It was what kept her from drowning in her sorrows and kept her occupied from overthinking. It was also the reason why she was praised by her boss for her consistency, but it didn't hinder the brunette's capability to be spontaneous.

She wondered when she started doing this every morning for the pass three weeks. Waking up at six in the morning, fixing the couch back to its original form and putting the sheets and pillows aside, heading to the kitchen after washing her face and brewing coffee for her and Chloe, who is still sound asleep in the brunette's bedroom. Beca would take a few sip from her cup before she starts making breakfast and then she'll hear the fitter-patter of Sophie's steps and a stools screech as she takes her seat on the counter.

Despite the fact that the little girl had been living in Beca's apartment for three weeks now, the girl still didn't seem to be comfortable around Beca, which the brunette blamed to the fact that she also tenses up when the kind so as much be in the same room as her.

It wasn't that she didn't like Sophie --It isn't because she's Sophia's namesake-- it's the fact that she is scared around children. She doesn't know what to do and she's afraid to do anything that'll make Sophie cry or hurt. So she tenses up and tries her best to keep a considerable space between her and the child.

Sophie seems to feel her tension, which makes the kid squirm too. But Beca noticed that Sophie was as observant as Chloe can be when the situation really concerns her. And Beca noticed the fact that Sophie would watch her move around the kitchen and the apartment, but would never say a word.

Beca doesn't mind the watchful gaze, she was already fond of it from years with Chloe, but something make Beca feel uncomfortable, like it was dangerous to do something or anything that would make Sophie dislike her, because if Sophie disliked her, then the kid will tell, and if the kid will tell... Beca doesn't want Chloe to leave.

Despite the fact that she protested a couple of times to herself why it was a hundred percent stupid and moronic to let Chloe stay, Beca is tired of being alone, and Chloe was familiar. Chloe was a touch home for the brunette.

And its been too long since she felt at home.

Home.

"The egg is burning." Startled, the brunette returned to her cooking and indeed one part of the sunny side-up was burned.

It wasn't the fact that she was so immersed in her head (or probably that's it), but it was the fact that Sophie was the one to point it out. She spoke.

Beca threw the egg and cracked another on the pan, taking note of how Sophie's voice sounded so close to Chloe's when the redhead was around the young kids age too. It was soft, and childlike, but it also sounded like the kid had read the dictionary and could pronounce each word with no lisp or stutter and that's what amazed Beca. Chloe clearly was very attentive to her little girl.

Beca is still shaken a bit, it was because it was Sophie's first words after the first day she saw them. The brunette figured the child was feeling up the situation she was in, the new environment and needed to adjust. Which reminded Beca of Aubrey. And that made her smile.

After cooking two more eggs, just as Beca started with the bacon, Chloe appeared from the bedroom. Hair ruffled, eyes tightly closed as she yawned, tank top hunching up and smooth skin becoming visible, Beca had to turn away with a blush as the redhead walked into the kitchen, greeting Sophie with a gazillion kisses that Beca wishes she could ha-- No. Bad idea.

Beca's in rock bottom and she is and will not try to pull Chloe with her. She would only be an anchor to Chloe's sailing ship. She wouldn't try to board it either.

They ate breakfast, it was always quite, which Beca liked. Morning's aren't her thing. And if something isn't her thing, she finds it irritating to talk and the silence that surrounded the three of them was just perfect.

"Mommy... When will we see daddy?"

That made every stop. Beca stopped chewing and Chloe almost choked on her coffee.

They haven't spoke of anything personal. Beca never shared what happened to her and Chloe never shared what happened to her or to that guy what's-his-name McGee.

So the fact that Sophie recognized the fact that a 'daddy' was still present made Beca recognize the fact that Chloe going back to him was still a possible instant.

So Beca stayed still, she can feel Chloe's eyes dart to her with a worried gaze, and Beca met it. She cleared her throat and stood up.

"I think..." Beca looked and Chloe, then Sophie, then Chloe again,"That I should probably get going now."

"Beca..."Chloe tried to call out, but Beca was making her way out of the kitchen and into some jeans and a plaid shirt, taking her bag and keys from the corner table by the door before jogging out.

She wasn't going to hear where or when or why Chloe and Sophie are going back to Jacob or Landon or Sam or whomever the fuck the father of Sophie was, but she will not sit there to listen and let her emotions burst out again.

"I just don't fucking know why!" Beca growled out drunkenly, eyes droopy as she spoke to Debbie and Lou on the bar,"Its been years since I saw her, left her to have a brighter future and for me to forget about the fact that she left my poor heart bleeding." Beca held her chest over her heart for emphasis,"But why is it that she is still making me feel things!?"

"I think the fact that you really actually still love her is why the feelings are making you go insane again." Lou contributed, but her wife slapped her arm,"Or maybe you merely repressed your emotions for too long." Another slap at the back of her head, Lou turned to Debbie with an annoyed look,"What is it that I'm saying wrong!?"

"I think you gotta put some space..." Debbie suggested.

"How much more space? She's already sleeping in the couch. Should she sleep in the bathroom instead?" Lou grumbled as she met her wife's annoyed glare,"Look Becky-"

"-Beca." The brunette interjected.

"-- You can't keep storing this emotions away and letting them burst out unpredictably... It's dangerous for you emotionally and mentally." Lou finish with concern in her eyes, and Debbie nodded slowly understanding.

"Since when have you been some Psychoanalitic monger, Louise?" The small brunette merely giggled in her drunken haze, making Lou and Debbie grunt disappointed.

"Okay, kid... You gotta stop drinking, we still have a job tonight." Beca let Debbie take her drink and let Lou carry her to the couch nearby.

"I just wanna be happy again." Beca mumbled sadly, eyes watering pitily,"I just wanna feel how it feels again... Back when I was still happy," She hiccuped,"Its tiring to be in pain all my life... And tiring to be sad all the time." She started to cry, but her eyes were drooping shut in exhaustion.

Debbie looked down at her with sympathy, feeling so much for the brunette.

Lou came back and found the small girl already dozed off, a few tears dripping from her eyes,"I feel for her." Lou said, putting Beca in a much more comfortable position in their small couch,"She's gone through so much it made her just want to disappear."

"She lost her family, her love, her second love." Debbie pointed out, looking down at Beca tenderly,"I think she just wants to feel like she's enough for someone to stay and love her."

"When I first met her, I thought she was a solid diamond," Lou told her wife, smirking softly with a soft chuckle,"But she is just as vulnerable as an otter."

"An otter?" Debbie turned to her wife on confusion.

Lou just shrugged.

To be continued...

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A/N: I'm so sooooorrry 😂 I've been pretty busy and yeah...