When The Stars Align

Chapter 22

The first time Beca was ever alone at home - She finally agreed to call Chloe's apartmemt home - was when Sophie was going to be attending her first day of 1st Grade.

The girl was giddy the night before and could barely sleep, Beca had to stay up with her because Chloe had to sleep after an outrageously bad day. The night before also really made Beca rethink some things.

"Sophie, darling, you have to stop fidgeting," Beca told the small child tiredly, rubbing her face as she watched over the girl over the file of pillows on the floor.

"I can't..." Huffed the redheaded girl,"I'm just- I'm just excited!" Her tongue twisted while she's saying the word and it came out as 'exwited' which was cute for Beca while she looked at the child,"Do you think everybody will like me?"

Beca remembered her 1st grade, she was pretty much an outgoing kid and made a great impression on everyone, especially since she's Sophia's sister, but beside that, she was a cool kid who always smiled and said hi to everyone.

Beca smiled,"Yeah... I'm sure of it." The brunette answered, stories about the horrors of middle school can wait,"Can we sleep now?"

"Mommy likes you, you know." Sophie became serious now, her hands fidgeting with a couple of lego blocks, eyes directed to her toys, but Beca was smack dumb sitting there, unable to reply,"She's sad that you don't like her back."

"That's not true,"Beca replied softly, combing Sophie's red mane,"It's just complicated."

"Auntie Aubrey said that too." The kid said, finally looking up at Beca with her big blue eyes,"She said I can't understand it till I'm old enough."

Beca stared at the small girl for a moment, frowning, gaze questioning. When did she meet Aubrey, how come Aubrey didn't look for her? Its not the time to wallow that Aubrey doesn't wanna see you right now. Beca cleared her throat and leaned against the back of the couch.

"Mommy thinks you deserve to be happy," Sophie bit her lip, she turned her head and smiled at Beca,"I think so too."

"Thanks, kid," Beca whispered, the room quiet enough for the word to resonate softly,"I think we deserve to sleep too."

So that conversation kept her awake, and gave her a headache the following morning after getting no sleep for two straight days.

Nursing a cup of coffee. She kept to her head. She remembered Lou talking to her three night ago, because despite herself, she can't keep things from Lou.

"You have to stop wallowing in self pity, Smurfette,"Lou smirked at the small girl who barely glared at the endearment,"Its not going to help you at all."

"Chloe's making great progress with me not in the picture."

"You live with her,"

"I know that."

"You're in the picture, you idiot."

Lou stood up from the stool she was sitting on and rounded the table to sit in front of Beca who had been nursing her bear for half and hour now.

"No matter what you fucking do." Lou took Beca's face in her hands,"You can never deny what you feel for that ginger, so just suck it up and stop feeling sorry for yourself and thinking you're gonna bring her down."

"I'm the personification of an existential crisis." Beca grunted in her hands.

"I didn't realize existential crisis is small."

The older woman laughed and leaned back.

"She's a grown woman, Beca... She can make decisions for herself, let her decide what's best and not best for her." Lou smiled,"Tell you what, that girl's pretty tough wanting to date such a hard work."