That's Love, Bitch (Larry au) *mpreg*

Thirty-Seven

Harry kind of really doesn't want to be doing this.

He can count all of the wakes he's been to in his life on one hand, and there's been even fewer funerals. None of the people who had passed were people he had been particularly close to, but he always cried anyways, because it just felt right.

Harry thinks it's kind of an unfair jump; attending wakes for people he barely knew to attending a wake for his husband. His literal soulmate, the one who knew him and his mind inside and out.

Harry and the rest of Louis' family stand in a line off to the side from the casket, where the people coming in kneel down and pray before going through the line of Harry and Louis' family, hugging them one by one and giving them their condolences.

Harry feels sort of numb. People look surprised when they walk up to tell him they're sorry and he gives them a small smile and says thank you. He thinks Louis would tell him it's okay, especially now, to let go of your feelings rather than hold them in.

He can't even look at Louis' body. Jay had told him she wanted an open casket. Harry didn't really have an opinion on the matter, so he agreed, and now Harry can't look at him. It makes it too real.

Gemma comes in with worried eyes and a frown, wearing a black dress that falls around her knees. She and Harry exchange weary smiles before she stands in the line to kneel in front of the casket.

Harry glances over at his friends, who are all standing together on one side of the room. They're not really saying anything. Liam is crying. It's the first time Harry's seen him cry since Louis has passed. He's kind of been the strong one, for Harry, mostly, and he's so grateful. All of his friends have been so wonderful. Perrie's crying too, and Zayn looks like he doesn't know what to do to make it stop hurting, although he wants to.

After hugging and thanking a few more people who give him sympathetic looks and say they're sorry for his loss, Gemma comes up to him and holds him in the tightest hug he thinks she's ever given him.

"Hey, Gem," Harry mutters into her shoulder.

"How're you doing, babe?" Gemma asks gently, leaning back from Harry and showing him the deep worry in her eyes.

"I'm..." Harry doesn't really know what to say. She'll know he isn't okay, that's a load of bullshit. "I don't know."

Gemma's frown deepens. "Your hair looks nice," She says quietly. That's what all the people he's spoken to seem to gravitate towards when they don't know what to say about his dead husband: his haircut.

"Thanks," Harry allows the corner of his mouth to lift up a bit, just to show some gratitude. Gemma twists her mouth. They've always been able to talk to each other about anything, but this, this is so incredibly difficult.

Gemma reaches up and gives Harry's upper arm a squeeze before moving along the line of people. Harry's eyes wander over to his friends. Liam is still crying. Niall's got his hand on Liam's shoulder, but he's not saying anything. Harry frowns, glances around, and slowly walks away from the casket and towards his friends. If people really want to tell him our sorry they are, they can find him by themselves.

"Hey," Harry says quietly, and everyone looks at him in surprise. It takes a few seconds for Zayn to put his hand on his shoulder like Niall did to Liam.

"Hey, how're you holding up, mate?" He asks softly, his other hand still on the small of Perrie's back as she wipes her eyes.

"Um," Harry looks down at the floor. "Okay, I think."

"Are the girls with your mum?" Niall asks. Harry twists his mouth and nods, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I told her not to come," He admits quietly. "Louis probably would've told me to be nice, but, she doesn't deserve to come after all of the comments she's made towards both of us."