Forever Like That (#Wattys2015) (#YourStoryIndia)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: I Spent My Last Day Doing Nothing, Who Would've Thought?

Kate Adams

Let’s look back through the day.

I woke up, took a shower, waited for his call- which didn’t come to my utter disappointment. I slumped myself on the sofa with my phone in my hands waiting for it to flash his name- which up till now didn’t happen to my luck. Bad luck. Then out of a blue moon Claire took my out for surprise shopping, which is so rare that I actually feel short of the adjective for it. The shopping mostly drained out most of my day and all of my energy.

Though I wouldn’t say it wasn’t worth it. I mean shopping- it is an entirely tiring verb to do but the outfits we bought were, I might say- worth it. I couldn’t ever be more tired with my body and also more satisfied than I was with whatever material we had bought.

So, yeah. Totally worth it!

But what I wasn’t feeling good about was Shawn. He was acting weird. Neither was he answering my calls nor was he calling himself. And that’s not the shocker here. He’d been talking to everybody expect from me. What was going wrong with him? Didn’t he know I had a flight the very next morning and we possibly wouldn’t see each other for quite some time.

Did he forget?

Damn god, if he did! I’ll kill him with my bare hands, I swear to god. Okay, we weren’t officially in a relationship, like a lovey-dovey couple but that doesn’t give him the right to forget things. Things, especially when they concern around his unofficial-that is something unfortunate- girlfriend.

I looked at the watch and I kept looking at it. The time was running like a train at its top speed limits. At other times, I actually doubt if the hands of the clock ever move but, that’s the thing about time;

It’s slow when you wait, fast when you’re late, deadly when you’re sad, short when you’re happy, endless when you’re in pain and long when you’re bored out of your guts.

Then again, they say, “time heals all wound and disappointments and not to forget regrets.” I do not agree. The disappointments always remain, especially when they turn into regrets. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with tissues and the pain lessens. But it’s never gone.

And that’s how the feeling of regret sinks into us. The feeling may resurface at times and there is a guilt ridden feeling that sores into us when once the things we regret are put back to how they were when they were correct in the eyes of people that matter. Surprising enough, it’s the same with pain and disappointment. They nag at the back of your mind but once when the reason of the hurt is crystalline clean, its goes away.

Disappointments. This is the feeling when expectations are not met with. People now a days expect a lot and it’s not really surprising that they do. It’s the disappointment that hits us when the expectations break and shatter around. Tears are just bonus points.

But when the regrets are corrected, the wounds are healed, wrongs are corrected and disappointments are filled with the expectation that weren’t filled before- there’s a perfect feeling when everything turns out right. Like the sun rises back after the night bringing a good bright light back into your life.

Okay, now that was a really deep thought but, thoughts like this keep running in my mind. Should I really take up this promotion? I should’ve given it a second thought before opening up to Shawn. I knew he would encourage me to go for it because he thinks stopping me from taking this up would e selfish of it. Yes, it would be selfish of him but how badly did I want him to be selfish just this once. To stop me from going.

I took up the offer so he wouldn’t feel selfish, so he wouldn’t feel that it was because of him, that he was holding me back from this. He shouldn’t feel like he was at fault. But now his ignorance was killing the guts out of me. How could he ignore me when I have a flight the very next morning? That’s like unacceptable!