Forever Like That (#Wattys2015) (#YourStoryIndia)

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE: When Life Gets Back.

 A/N: Hey there chocolatemuncher! I love your username!

Shawn David

Once Carl had tossed me the apartment keys, nothing mattered. I didn’t care for myself. I knew it want right for me to throw everything away. I didn’t care. But, can you blame me?

You can’t.

You haven’t lost what I have. Some of you might have, and they will understand. I guess this happens to everyone who goes through it. It seems like pure hell. You claim for that one person to be your everything. Your life, your breath, your heart, your reason to be.

What happens when she’s gone?

Your life. Your breath. Your heart. Your reason to be. Gone?

Your lungs breath, you don’t feel like living. It’s what that happen. Everything seems hopeless.

“You sound hopeless,” Carl had told me. He was concerned, I know why. I did not want pity and I told him that in the first year of us sharing an apartment. But, he was being a good friend, I understand that.

I appreciated it the most when he had let me be on my own. Felt good that he trusted me enough to let me be alone after this.

I stumbled upon my own step, entering the silenced place. I wasn’t drunk despite the beer I had. It was only one can, and I have quite a tolerance limit.

I had seen her twice. I had seen Kate twice back then. A rush of joy went through me but it was soon gone. Just like her. One second, I saw her right there, by the roadside, and the other second, she was gone. I didn’t like how my mind was playing games on me.

Unlike the girl’s apartment, ours was blended into a shade of dark and light shades of coffee. It was as spacious as the other one. Three bed rooms and one guest room—enough for us lot.

 My legs felt jelly. I slumped on the couch. I felt sleep deprived. I hadn’t slept in like three day. Count today and it’s four. My eyes staring drooping down, nearly close.

“You’re losing too much hope for your own good.”

“You haven’t seen her dead. As long as you don’t, there’s hope.”

“She could still be alive.”

I shook my head. I can’t let myself believe what not true. I’d be happy to believe it if it were true, but it’s not. That’s harsh reality.

But, was I really losing too much hope for my own good?

I shouldn’t give up, should I?

I decided that the bed would be more comfortable, considering, whatever sleep I had had, was on the uncomfortable leather seat of the car. Besides, my dreams haunted me.

Sometime, back in time, when I hadn’t told anything to Kate, when I kept it all in, once in a while, I’d get a nightmare about how I lost her and couldn’t o anything about it. That is what that exactly happened, didn’t it?

They say, dreams do come true, but they forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams too. Bad, scary dreams. But dreams.

Sleepily, I stumbled up to the door of my room. I unlocked it and entered. It was left the same. The blue walls, the messy, unmade bed, the sprawled papers all over the desk and the magazines on the nightstand. Just the same.

However, I felt a known presence in the room. There was no one in here, but it felt like someone was. Up on another glance round the room, I wondered if Kate’s room was still lit by candles, well at least waxes of it. If the ice cream and chocolates she had on her nightstand still there?