Forever Like That (#Wattys2015) (#YourStoryIndia)

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT: Much Needed Euphemism.

 

Carl Davis

What if she was really gone?

But that’s it. She’s gone. One of my best friends, just gone. Just like that. I couldn’t believe. I couldn’t make myself believe, it’s just too hard. Maybe she’s alive and returning home?

I had succeeded in calming Shawn down. He was devastated. I’d be lying if I said I could feel the amount of pain he was going through. The amount of worry that the worry lines on his forehead showed.

But I can’t.

He loved her. It was so evident in his eyes. Everybody knew. Even Kate. She just waited for him to get that courage to speak up. She didn’t want to be the man in the relationship because she knew, that he needed that confidence that gave him the freedom to speak. Speak his heart out.

I was really glad she was doing it though. It was for his best but now I regret. I should’ve made him tell her, may it be by pressuring. He would’ve been happy then.

All those three year, I saw my best friends wanting something so bad. Saw him sad when she used to go on dates with other guys. I saw him glaring daggers at those guys and I’m pretty sure they must have felt hole burning into them from behind.

In these past few days, since he and Kate have been together, I’ve seen him so happy. Happy like really happy. Now, he’s just breathing.

Living is the most rare thing in the world, people just exist, that all.

Here are three stages of life really—childhood, youth and old age. But life is about living, achievements and fun. Ambitions, dreams.

It’s not really how long you live that matters, its how many people smile when they hear your name. That matters. How many smiles you have caused to happen in your lifetime. The good deeds and the bad mistakes. Lessons leant from them. That all matters.

But it’s hard. It is so hard to deal with those people gone. Everybody dies. They have to. But it’s harsh that it’s so soon. Why her?

If only we had been selfish enough to stop her from going away. None was us wanted her to go but we knew that would be very selfish of us. She deserved being promoted. She worked hard, she was always loyal to her work.

Its harsh reality.

Right now, we were driving back to New York. We hadn’t taken the flight. I figured Shawn wouldn’t want that. So we drove.

He hasn’t spoken since he came out of the last hospital of the list. He didn’t need to tell me what happened. His face said it all. He was holding back ears. Big fat tears.

He just sat beside me, his face naked of any emotions. None readable. He was motionless, not moving, as if the life got sucked out of him. That is actually the half truth. He always said, she was his life.

Now, she’s not here. She might never be.

How is he then suppose to live without life?

I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to speak. He is a guy, but he’s emotionally sensitive. There’s a big reason behind it though. He hates to speak about it because he thinks people will pity him.

He had never told anybody about it. He never spoke of it. I just know about it because, sometimes his behavior was a bit off and I was just curious enough to dig in for information.

It had hit me like a ton of bricks altogether, when I had found out the reason. I won’t lie, at first I might have pitied him little bit. A tiny bit. But he was my friend, I didn’t know he’d grow to my best friend but I kept it to myself.