𝕵𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖔𝖚𝖘 | ᴊɪᴋᴏᴏᴋ

14

Jimin wasn't answering anyone's call since that Thursday—that dire day when he found out he had lost his virginity the night before and the day he told Jungkook he never wanted to see him again.

Why did he say that to Jungkook? He doesn't know. All he knows is that he feels like shit. Just remembering the bunny smile erase right off of his face made him want to cry all over again.

Why was he even doing this? Was it because he didn't want to get hurt or because he didn't feel good enough to be called 'Jeon Jungkook's boyfriend'? He knew one thing though; he was scared.

Imagine, you just turned 20 years old, you've never had a boyfriend in your entire life and your best friend was your first kiss. You're in your second year of college, trying to concentrate on being on the top 10 of your sophomore dancing and vocal classes and all of a sudden that gets disrupted by a big brother who can't keep his nosy nose in other places apart from your life. He introduces you to your crush of freshman year. Now, what do you do? Here is an answer from the expertise Park Jimin: freak the fuck out.

That's right. You freak out and scare yourself into thinking you are not good enough for that person and it's best to just stay with the what if's. And if that crush of yours is as persistently stubborn like our baby bunny here then you're out of luck. You'll end up pushing him away and crushing his heart. Solely because you're a scaredy-cat who can't handle having a love.

"C'mon, Jimin." His subconscious whispered to him, trying to remove all of those negative thoughts in his head. "Don't think of yourself in this way. You are worth loving. You are Park Jimin and you should be happy that such a person exists. Love yourself for the person you are, not for the person you're not."

"I can't." Jimin pulled at his hair.

"You're beautiful, Park Jimin."

"No, I am not."

"You are. And you are worth loving. You are worth trusting. You are worth it."

"Stop!" Jimin sobbed. "Stop saying these absurd things. I'm nothing. I am the waste of space everyone talks about. I am a fuck up-"

"-you are you and no one can take that away from you. Not even yourself."

Jimin's crying, after a while, ceased. Crippling depression was the devil itself. It messed with his mind and continuously blamed and faulted him for what he had done and what had happened to him. That including his dance and vocal skills. He was never good enough.

"Jimin!" Three loud bangs were heard down the hall of his bedroom, meaning someone was knocking on his door, or more like banging. The bangs continued as he ignored, whoever was calling him. "Please Jimin! Open the door we need to talk."

Oh. He recognized those voices.

"I'll drop the door down, I swear!"

Jimin couldn't give two shits. They could leave or they could drop the door down. He didn't care, he just wanted to be left alone.

A few silent seconds later, Jimin heard the loud thumps of something colliding with his apartment door. A few more thumps and all what was heard was the clash of the door slamming onto the wall.

Jimin got up off of the floor and ran to his bed under the covers. He threw his favorite soft baby blue duvet with white laced edges over his head and hoped that they wouldn't find him. Jimin listened to the soft padding of their feet and when they stopped in front of his door.

"Jiminie please..." Hoseok's voice stuffy from crying. "I'm so sorry, Minnie."

Taehyung opened his bedroom door and peeked in. Taehyung saw the obviously huge lump on the bed under the covers and automatically knew it was his torn-to-shreds best friend and couldn't help but feel even guiltier. Without thinking he walked to the bed and jumped over him, hugging him close. "I'm so so sorry Minnie. All of this is my fault. I shouldn't have let you drink, I shouldn't have drank and I'm sorry that this happened."