how to fall in love - jercy

5 - best friend

p.j.

i like finding spots of sunlight in my room when the sun is just right, between the buildings. i sit on the floor and close my eyes and watch the bright lights under my eyelids dance.

the sun is only in position to stream into my window once a day. no one knows about this ritual of mine. it's my hour. no one else's.

"percy!" i hear the door swing open.

i open my eyes and turned towards my door. i was starting to regret giving annabeth a spare key. "don't you ever knock?"

annabeth closed the door behind her and crossed her arms. "no time to knock. now that i'm finally done with my work, we can finally talk. we haven't really talked in ages. why are you on the floor?"

"i text you everyday! and brunch? last week?" i say, standing up and dusting myself off.

annabeth rolled her eyes and set her messenger bag on the couch. "i mean talk talk. just us two, face to face. you know... best friend time."

i hardly ever hear annabeth refer to me as her best friend. she usually likes to keep how she feels about people inferred. i sighed and sat down on the couch. "okay, we can talk."

she collapsed on the couch next to me and sighed as well. "i wish i could be like you."

i looked at her quizzically. "how?"

"you know... you do whatever you want. you feel no pressure to do anything. i've never felt unpressured in my life."

"you hate it when i do whatever i want," i point out. "and that's not true. it's just the pressure we feel is very different... sometimes i wish i were like you." i say.

she smiled at me. "you're right. i don't want to be like you. that's why i'm like me. i thrive off of pressure. i can't ever relax. i'd go insane." her smile disappeared. "i do worry about you sometimes, perce."

"of course you're worried about me," i mumbled. she always is.

annabeth sighed. "forget i said anything."

"no, i wanna know. why are you so worried?" i ask.

"you want a relationship so bad. you always talk about it. yet... all you do every weekend is go on grindr and find a hookup. there's nothing wrong with just that! but... i know it's just because you're scared."

i just looked ahead, trying not to react.

"i know because i know you. i know you hooked up with jason before. it's not going to make you feel better. i'm so sick of seeing you unhappy and then fucking a stranger to try to fix it."

i wanted to argue. i really did.

but she was right. she's always right. that's what makes her so annoying and also my best friend.

"...i deleted grindr." i say finally. "after i met jason, i deleted it... because i met him at a bar. and realized i didn't need it if i just allowed myself to leave the house and talk to people. i got his number."

she looked at me, genuinely surprised. "oh! have- have you texted him?"

"what? no, i'm a pussy."

annabeth hit me with a throw pillow on the couch. "perseus jackson, you. are. not. a. pussy!" she shouted, hitting me between each word. "there's no need to be nervous. just a text."

"but... what if i really like him?" i say slowly.

judging by her face, she didn't understand my question.

"like really liked him. i've never let myself like a hookup before."

"then he's not just a hookup. what if he really likes you?" annabeth glanced at her phone. "oh no. oh no oh no. i have to go."

"already?" i ask, but she was already grabbing her bag and making towards the door.

"promise me you'll text him, seaweed brain." she says before turning the door knob.

"i will, wise girl." i assured her, smiling. "anything for my best friend."