how to fall in love - jercy

12 - don't call me

j.g.

i was daydreaming. running my fingers down his spine, feeling the curve of his back and the space between his shoulder blades. the warmth of his skin. soft, fluffy hair between my fingers. his breath on my neck. his arms around my waist.

just him.

talking to me.

hushed voices.

sweet words.

bzzzt bzzzt bzzzt

oh no.

bzzt bzzt bzzt

"hello?"

his deep, tired voice made me feel sick."hi, jason. i wanted to talk to you about-"

"-your company," i finished. "i'm still not interested. calling every week makes me less and less interested every time."

"you're being unreasonable."

"please stop calling me while i'm at work." i grumbled.

i could hear the frustration growing in his voice. i could picture him at his desk, messaging his temple. "son, you know i just want the best for you. i know you could handle it if you would just stop being-"

i was close to snapping. i was so close. everything seemed clear for the first time in my life. nothing was cloudy. i saw what i wanted. it was in reach. and then i get this call. i'm tired of just nodding and saying okay we'll talk about it later.

"what about thalia?" i interrupt. "do you not want the best for her? because you bother me every week about a proposition you know i have no interest in, but do you ever even think about her?"

"jason, surely you know- she's not fit to run a business!" he sputtered.

"because she's a woman? because she had the courage to leave when you expressed no interest in her? do you even know what she gets up to these days? she's been in college, dad. studying business. like you always wanted me to do." i was gaining momentum. months of words tumbled out of my mouth before i could stop them."if you're talking about her appearance, she still never tattoos her forearms and neck. only her ears are pierced. you know why? she's been waiting for you to take her seriously all these years. yet you keep nagging me. and not the leadership type? she practically raised me after mom left when you were too much of a coward to do so."

"she's a-" he took a deep breath. "lesbian-"

"AND I'M GAY! is that enough for you? can you please stop now?" angry tears welled up in my eyes. "don't tell me you didn't raise me to be this way. you never raised me at all. you raised your company. thalia is a lesbian and i'm gay and you are coward. thalia wants the company and i don't. i don't want the life you want for me. i want you to understand all of that and until you do, please don't call me. thank you."

i hang up and desperately try to calm myself so no one at work can catch me crying.

"jason, are you okay? you're shaking. are you sick?" my boss asked, emerging from the bathroom.

"i... don't feel well." i said, sniffling loudly. "i, uh, might have a cold or something."

"well, if you don't feel well, head on home. we don't want sick customers."

i quickly thanked her and furiously typed on my phone.

me: what are you doing right now?

percy: nothing, why?

me: can i come over?

percy: of course. why tho?

me: i need it real hard in the ass.

percy: very subtle im loving the new confidence, mr ive never done this before

me: haha very funny. i'm gonna cry right after so hold your judgement