how to fall in love - jercy

14 - i love you

j.g.

percy looked at the wall like he wanted to burn a hole through it. i could feel rage radiate off him. "ugh! fucking bitch! i just wish i was there to... i don't know. yell at him? and curse a lot?"

i shook my head. "wouldn't do any good."

percy sighed in frustration. "i know. it just- it pisses me off. i'm sorry. how are you feeling? i think you handled it well."

i gave the question thought. "honestly, i'm angry, obviously. but he's acted this way my whole life. ignoring me unless he wanted something, being a dick to my sister, yada yada. i'm kind of... relieved. now that everything is off my chest, it's like i don't have to worry about hiding anything from him. i just wish i didn't have to feel this way. i wish i had a normal family."

percy rubbed my back the way my mother did when i fell off the swing. his warm hand against my bare back felt like heaven. he held me so close, i could feel him holding his breath.

"you'll be okay." he assures me in a calm, soft voice that i've never heard from him before. my heart leaps in my chest.

"i know," i say, earnestly.

"i just wish i could help you more. i wish i could do something."

"all you have to do is just stay here with me. that's helping enough."

i felt like nothing could hurt me with percy rubbing my back in circles and speaking in that quiet voice. he was looking at me in a way that didn't make me feel small or stupid. just in a way that made me feel like he truly saw me. and understood me.

i understand why people fall in love now. there's something so freeing about it when done right. i didn't want to show someone affection because i was afraid i'd hurt them but i didn't know it felt this good.

nothing can hurt you when you are in love. they can break you, hurt you, steal from you- they can't ever take what's in your head and what's in your heart.

"i am cheesy," i say aloud.

percy laughed. his silver tongue piercing glinted behind his teeth.

my heart swelled for percy jackson. i loved his floofy hair. i loved his tongue piercing against my skin and his ear piercings glinting in the sun. i loved the edgy image he likes to project and i love even more how soft he is when he's with me. i loved his stupid laugh and his soothing voice. i loved when he'd play his acoustic guitar for me over facetime. i loved how his fingernails left red lines on my back and how his words left flowers in my heart.

it was swelling inside me and the words tumbled out.

"i love you."