how to fall in love - jercy

19 - soul sound

p.j.

i held his head in my hands, both cheeks warm against my palms. he stayed still and let me, gazing back at me with that cool, blue stare. we were sitting across from eachother, both facing each other: open and vulnerable with nothing between us. he kept quiet, not questioning why i was holding his face like i was. my eyes traced his cheek bones and jawline. the curve of his lips, down to the scar. his eyelashes were light on his eyelids that folded delicately over his swimming pool eyes.

it's hard to believe that every dream, thought, belief, emotion, and aspiration of jason grace was sitting between my palms. what went on in that head? most days i'd lay my head against his chest and feel as if i'd known him for years. some days i'd look at him and wonder who he was in that head of his. most days when i'd kiss him and lay my head against his chest, i'd hear eagles. eagles flapping their massive wings, fighting against the grasp of gravity. some days, i'd only hear icy wind and then deafening silence.

"what does my soul sound like?" i ask him after telling him all of this. he looked at me starstruck for awhile.

he ran his fingers through my hair, rhythmically brushing through it as he gave the question thought.

"on the days you kiss me and lay your head against my chest, you sound like wild horses galloping. but some days you sound as if there's a hurricane behind your eyes and between your ears. high, crashing waves. the deafening roar of wind and rain."

"what do i sound like right now?" i ask him, desperate to get in that mysterious head of his.

he smiled at me - that smile that drives me a little crazy. not a laughing smile or a show your teeth smile. a sort of wistful half-smile as if he was holding a secret behind his lips and a kiss was the only way to set it free.

"like music."