how to fall in love - jercy

6 - fear

j.g.

when he texted me, i was at home.

i heard the notification sound and thought, it must be leo bothering me about where i went that night again. i know he'd make a huge deal out of it if i told him.

percy: hey jason

my heart skipped a beat in my chest.

i should wait. isn't that what you do? wait a bit so you don't sound desperate?

a few seconds pass. i can't do this.

me: hey

percy: whatre you up to

me: nothing, just sitting around and thinking.

percy: about what?

i didn't want to admit to him that he's all i've been able to think about for the past week. it's so like me to fall in love with the first guy i have sex with. i'm sure he's had sex with many guys before me, is he like this to all of them? what if he is? what if i'm nothing special to him at all? i can't help but feel like there's something melancholy about him. he sounded so sad when he said he doesn't believe in true love. i can't help but be curious about him. and god. that grin. glowing green eyes. the tiny metal piercing on his tongue pressed against the shaft of my-

bzzt

percy: me? ;)

me: yeah. always.

percy: really? what abt me?

what about percy? i could write him an essay. it would start with that fucking grin and those stupid dimples. then that soft voice asking me if i was okay. and to conclude, his body lying next to me as i drifted to sleep.

i wondered if percy's heart was beating fast as mine. i wondered if he was on the edge of his seat, waiting for me to answer. i am.

me: i'm just very curious about you and why the world let us meet. twice. i wish i knew you better.

percy: i could say the same for you

me: i'm terrified of people getting to know me.

percy: me too. everything's less scary if we do it together. like watching It or airplanes

me: you're scared of air planes?

percy: i'm only scared when there's no one to hold my hand