BTS: HYYH The Notes (Complete ENG)

Taehyung

29 March Year 22

The owner of the gas station spat on the floor and left. I laid crouching on the floor still. I was spraying graffiti at the back wall of the gas station when I was caught by the owner and got hit. I rolled on the floor. Being hit was a familiar thing, but it was something I never got used to.

It was a while ago when I started graffiti. I picked up the left over spray someone had left behind and started to spray on some wall. It looked like it was yellow. I just sprayed it randomly and looked up at it. I saw the bright yellow paint on the grey wall and lifted another spray. I stopped my hand after all the spray cans were empty. I threw a can and stepped back. I was out of breath as if I had run as fast as I could.

I didn't know what the colors on the wall meant. What I did, and why I did it. I didn't know. Just one thing, I could guess it was in my heart, or mind. Or even in my feelings. I poured my heart out onto the wall. At first I thought It was ugly. It was stupid, useless and pitiful. I didn't like it. I rubbed off the undried paint that was on my palms. I wanted to erase everything. Instead of the paint being erased, it pounded into different colors and formed into different shapes. I sat against the wall. It was not the matter of heart and soul. It was not the problem of being beautiful or not. It was just me.

I coughed when I lifted myself up. Blood burst from the inside of my mouth. And I saw someone's hand pick up the spray can. As I followed the hand, I saw his face.

It was Namjoon hyung.

I laughed thinking it was an illusion. Its not real. Hyung extended his hand towards me. I just looked up at him in stare.

Hyung pulled my hand up. And his hands were warm.