BTS: HYYH The Notes (Complete ENG)

Seokjin

30 August Year 22

She looked flustered when she saw the diary she thought she had lost. Within every page were the movies she liked, the places she wanted to go, the flowers she loved, and the future she hoped for. It was also something I'd done for her. Saying sorry never came easy for me. The red diary was placed between us, like a traffic light in an intersection.

I wanted to make her happy. I wanted to make her laugh. I wanted to be a good person. I thought that if I followed the writings from the diary, I would do so. But that's not how it worked. The more I tried to be someone else the more frightened I became.

Wouldn't she find out who I really am? Wouldn't she be disappointed and leave me? Desperately, I hid and turned away from myself. But just like how a person can't end a sentence without it being complete, I myself, who I lost couldn't improve and instead wandered around the same places.

I know now that the person who I am that is incapable, makes mistakes and fails is still a part of myself. No matter how terrible things become, only by being true to myself, I can continue to move forward. I stood up and she didn't stop me.

I went out onto the street and took my hat off. As I swept my hair back, the time that I spent trying to become someone else slipped through my fingers. I lifted my head and looked at my reflection at the window in front of me. Staring back at me were pale lips, a frail face and thin shoulders. I looked pathetic. I laughed. My reflection laughed too.