BTS: HYYH The Notes (Complete ENG)

Yoongi

15 March Year 19

Lunch was especially good that day. It was strange, because it was just one of the ordinary lunches I would have in school. I didn't show that I liked it. It didn't suit me, that kind of thing. As usual, I sat carelessly in my chair and held my chopsticks like I was unbothered. But the food was definitely good.

Taehyung and Jungkook were arguing about getting some sunlight, moving the curtains and changing their seats. Dust rose in the air. Namjoon shouted at them to at least stay quiet as we were eating. I held my spoon as I thought, how long has it been since I'd eaten this comfortably?

For as long as I remembered, there hadn't been any conversations at our family's table. No one said the food was good, nor asked for more. Nor said they'd eaten well. For my family, meals were no more or less than something we had to do as part of our daily routine. "Min Yoongi, no talking at the table." I didn't remember exactly when my father said that. All that remained was the huge sound of his utensils as he sat them down. He didn't raise his voice nor got angry. No, he didn't even look at me. Even so, I shut my mouth. I cut off my own words and stuffed a huge bite into my mouth. Then I bit the inside of my cheek. I tasted the metallic taste of blood. It hurt, and tears came out of my eyes. But I didn't say anything. I didn't tell them that it hurt. I couldn't speak at the table. I forced myself to chew the food with blood and swallowed it down.

Someone stole food from my lunch tray. I scowled, but I wasn't unhappy or annoyed. That was just my normal reaction to everything. Hoseok called out, "Yoongi hyung is mad, Taehyung. What are you gonna do?" Taehyung acted playfully like he was grievingly sorry. It was a very Hoseok-and-Taehyung kind of thing. Despite myself, I bit out, "It's fine. Eat it." Then another noise of talk and laughter bursted out. Nobody realized that I had spoken during a meal.