dream~fack

gown

beep.....beep.....beep
beep.....beep....beep
beep.....beep..beep..beep..beep

i opened my eyes and saw white. just white. my eyes couldn't accustom to it, it's like i didn't deserve all this light in my life.
why am i still alive? that was supposed to work. i wish it did work. i don't want to be here an-
"jack?"
the voice is too muffled. i hope it's not who i think it is. then again, i do.
"..finn?"
i get no reply but i hear that persons footsteps dash out of the room, distant cries for the nurses to come quick.
i close my eyes again, the light hurting my eyes.
i am such a fucking idiot.
i can't believe i let this happen again. im such a fool, how could i possibly think someone like that could like me?
i don't know. i obviously don't deserve love.

why couldn't i have died? the one thing i try to do to help other people's lives, i fuck up.
now that im still alive, everyone will be worse
and it's all my fault.

my fault.

everytime.

okay, so this is a version of the last chapter i deleted because i really hated it. just pretend that chapter (gowns and drowns) never happened because that was shit.
just a friendly message if you ever feel sad or lonely or just looking for a pal, im not a great person but im always willing to help :)
yours truly,
~claire💛