our place. (c.h)

chapter 9, i'm here now.

wow sorry this chapter is kinda short anyway love u the most😘😘

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Calum kissed me.

I kissed Calum.

We kissed each other.

I woke up the next morning with a pounding ache in my head, probably from crying so hard the night before. As I lay in my bed, all of the memories from last night came flushing back. I saw him and I saw the darkest time in my life. I saw me at my worst, somewhere I hoped I'd never go again. I saw so many things I had prayed I'd never see again.

I couldn't help but feel guilty about leaving Calum alone. I just couldn't handle it all, I was so happy yet so upset that my body didn't know how to handle it. So I did what I thought was best, and left. I left Calum alone, alone to his own thoughts and assumptions.

My mind was so conflicted. Calum made me feel something I have never felt before, but everytime he gets close all I see is the person who hurt me and I was terrified. I saw the one who broke my heart into unfixable pieces, the one who made me convince myself that love just wasn't for me. The one who made me convince myself that what happened was my fault and that I deserved it.

I knew Calum wasn't him, but I also knew I still haven't completely healed from it all. My heart was still aching, but I didn't know what for at this point. I still had some pieces left to pick up and I wasn't exactly sure if I'd be able to find them or if what I was feeling was even fixable. But Calum made me want to try, and that meant something. I knew he was confused, but I had only known him for a few weeks. I couldn't exactly tell him my whole life story yet.

Come to think of it, no one but me knows exactly what happened. I never felt comfortable enough for share everything, only bits and pieces. I never fully trusted someone enough to expect them to keep that kind of information to themselves. There wasn't ever a person that I felt was trustworthy enough with something like that.

I sat up in my bed and looked at the clock. It was nine, so I decided to get up and make some coffee. I head into the kitchen and start brewing a pot. I decide to stay in today, I didn't exactly want to go out and face people after what happened last night.

As my coffee brewed, I grabbed some blankets from my bedroom and placed them on the couch. I needed to calm down and focus on something other than last night. So many things were rushing through my head that it physically hurt. I head back into the kitchen, take an Ibuprofen, finish making my coffee and take a seat on the couch. I swaddle myself in blankets and grab the remote, clicking through Netflix trying to find a show to watch.

I decide on American Horror Story and lean back. I he through few episodes and hear a knock on the door. Who the hell could that be? My parents weren't in town, they would've called, and doubt it'd be Calum after what happened last night. I contemplate answering, what if it was a murderer? What if someone wanted to rob me? It probably wasn't the case but it was still a possibility. I take a chance and make my way towards the door, stepping lightly onto the hardwood floor. I open the door and it's Calum.

"Hey." he said, looking down at me and smiling.

"Uh, hey." I said, hopefully not sounding too rude. "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you." he said. Of course he did, I basically freaked out after our kiss and left him alone.

"Oh, uh, okay. Come in." I said, holding the door open for Calum.

Calum walks in and scans the room. His eyes stop at the couch and he says, "Movie marathon?" with a laugh.

"Nope. Just binge watching American Horror Story." I laughed, hopefully lightening the mood. I take a seat where I was previously and pat the seat next to me, "Sit."