You Make Me Lovely

Masquerade

For the parts of this chapter that contain texting: Sirius is bold, James is bold AND underlined, and Remus is underlined.

*Trigger warning: this chapter contains a lot of stuff having to do with eating disorders and low self-esteem*

James Potter liked to think of himself as an observant person. When they were younger, his friends would always joke and say that he was the most oblivious out of their group of friends, but he knew that wasn't true. He knew he was good at observing people.

James knew that there was something going on with Sirius, something the boy was hiding. Ever since he had been sick, he had been acting different. He didn't want to pry, as he knew that would only make the boy more distant, but he was worried. He thought back to the night they all went out to dinner and remembered what Remus had told him as soon as Sirius had gone to the restroom.

"He's been more closed off and critical than usual," Remus said after James had asked him what was wrong with Sirius.

"What do you mean?"

"He doesn't talk to me, he'll stand in front of the mirror with this disgusted look on his face, and he won't even take his shirt off before we go to sleep. He took it off one night and then immediately put it back on, like he realized what he looked like and couldn't stand to see it.

And like the night of Lily's party I had to practically drag him there after I barely managed to convince him that people wouldn't comment on the way he looked. You should have seen how upset he was, James. And tonight he wouldn't come out of the bathroom and when I went in there he just kept repeating that nothing looked good, as though he thought that we would all be repulsed by him." James didn't know what to say.

"Y-you don't think—"

"I don't want it to be like last time, when we didn't notice until it was almost too late," Remus whispered, the worry clear in his voice.

"It won't be," James whispered back as Sirius returned to the table, gripping the chair as though to steady himself. Remus and James each shot each other a concerned glance.

James was brought out of his reverie by the sound of his phone buzzing. He quickly picked it up and opened his messages, seeing a text from Sirius: are you doing anything later?James frowned, wondering what this was about.

Just homework. Why?

I was just...um...wondering if we could talk later? James immediately got worried, trying to figure out what his friend needed to talk to him about. He hoped it wasn't something bad. But then again, if it wasn't bad, Sirius would have just told him then and there. Right?

Yeah, sure. What time?

I get off work in a little less than an hour so probably a little after if that's all right?

Yeah, that's fine. See you soon.

Not long after he finished texting Sirius, James got a message from Remus: Did Sirius text you asking if you and he could talk later?

Yeah...just a few minutes ago. The fact that Remus knew that kind of freaked him out. How did you know that he texted me? Thankfully he didn't have to wait long for a reply.

Because he texted me like 45 minutes ago asking if I could come over later so that the 3 of us could talk.

Shit, mate. What do you think he wants to talk about?Almost immediately after James sent the text he heard a knock on the door. He got up to go answer it and was surprised to see Remus, who barged right in. "Well hello to you too," he said, giving his friend an amused look. "Were you texting me while you were on your way here?"