You Make Me Lovely

Quietly

"Did you pick the date for this art class because you knew I had to go to the doctor this morning?" Sirius asked a few weeks after his party when Remus reminded him that that their class was tonight. Remus just stared at his boyfriend.

"No, I didn't." The two boys were currently in Sirius' room; Remus was sitting on the bed as he watched his boyfriend pace around the room. "I don't know what you're so worried about Pads, it's just a physical. And I thought after you went last year you told me you liked your doctor?" Sirius suddenly stopped pacing, fixing Remus with a look he couldn't quite decipher.

"That was last year, Rem," Sirius started. When Remus gave him a confused look, he continued. "A lot has changed since then." Sirius didn't need to say any more after that, Remus knew what he meant. He wouldn't directly admit it, but Remus knew Sirius was scared of what would happen with his doctor.

"Just think, Pads. Going to see your doctor is a huge step in the right direction and, despite what your mind keeps trying to tell you, he wants to help." Sirius looked unsure. "So let's get going because your appointment starts soon and I'm not going to let you miss it."

Thankfully they made it with five minutes to spare, having had to rush up the stairs to get to the office. The room started spinning and they had to pause for a few moments once they reached the receptionist so that Sirius could steady himself. He closed his eyes tight and gripped the counter. The woman at the desk gave Sirius an odd look before asking if he was okay. Sirius nodded slowly before giving his name and going to sit in one of the chairs.

"Mr. Black, Doctor Riley will see you now," one of the nurses called, smiling kindly at the two boys. Remus gave Sirius' hand a reassuring squeeze before giving him a gentle push in the nurses direction. Sirius sighed before following the woman into one of the exam rooms. "So, Mr. Black—"

"Sirius," he said, cutting the nurse off. "Call me Sirius." She looked at him for a moment before nodding.

"All right, Sirius, so my name is Cate and I'm gonna be checking your vitals before the doctor comes in. Sound good?" Sirius nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He didn't want his voice to give away how nervous he was. He sat still as the nurse took his temperature and blood pressure, but he visibly flinched when he heard her ask him to get on the scale. "Sirius? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," he whispered, slowly stepping on the scale and closing his eyes tightly. Thankfully he was only there for about ten seconds before she let him sit back down and told him the doctor would be in shortly. Sirius only ended up waiting for about ten minutes before the door opened and Doctor Riley walked in.

"Morning, Sirius. How're you doing today?" he asked, voice loud and upbeat.

"I'm...I'm good," Sirius responded, mentally hitting himself for stuttering. What're you doing?His mind shouted at him. You can't let him see that you're nervous. He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of the doctor speaking again.

"Sirius, before we get to anything else, there's something I'd like to talk to you about," he said, eyeing Sirius with a concerned look. Sirius rose his eyebrows, but nodded anyway. "I was reading over your charts and it looks like you have lost a pretty significant amount of weight since last year."

"I guess," Sirius shrugged.

"Has anything happened that would've caused this?" Sirius shook his head, fidgeting in his chair. Doctor Riley gave him a disbelieving look. "Have you ever purposely skipped meals or made yourself sick?"

"I haven't—I mean, it wasn't—" Sirius stuttered.

"Have you ever taken drastic or unhealthy methods to avoid gaining weight?" Sirius looked at the ground, trying to hide the fact that his eyes were filled with tears.