Shadows of summer

Chapter 15

  Her hot breath was brushing my neck and it sent chills down my spine. Our noses were rubbing together and I couldn’t help but wonder how cute we looked. I loved her show much and I wanted us to take the biggest step of all. I was scared to ask Shadow if she was ready but I wanted us to be in the ultimate embrace of passion.

“Shadow can I ask you something”?

“Sure”.

“Umm…oh…umm…are you y-you k-know”? I muttered and she started to laugh.

“What’s wrong, cat got your tongue”.

 “No it’s just that I’m a little nervous about asking you something”?

 I felt my cheeks getting hot I hoped I wasn’t turning into a strawberry again.

 “Nervous about asking me what”?.

 I wanted to ask her so bad but I was afraid I would scared her away.

“Justin you can ask me anything”? She reassured me and I took a deep breath. I fought back my fear and let the words slide out.

 “Shadow are you a virgin”? I said and I slammed my eyes shut so I wouldn’t have to see her reaction.

  I thought I was sitting there for an eternity. Would Shadow just get up and ran out the cabin?

“Open your eyes Justin”. I heard her say and I slowly opened my left eye. Shadow started laughing at me and her laugh made me smile.

 “And the other one too”.

I opened my right eye and she gave me a kiss. I guess it was to give me courage but whatever the reason I loved it.

“That’s better now and to answer your question…yes I am. Are you one”? She asked me and I was a little humiliated to tell her the truth.

“Um…yes sadly I am too”. I answered and Shadow looked a little puzzled.

 “Why are you sad about that”? She whispered running her fingers though my hair.

 “Well because a guy my age usually isn’t one still, that’s why”.

“It’s stuff like that, which makes me glad that I live in exile. I think it’s good to wait for that special person”.

“I think so too, but most people don’t believe in having sex out of love and passion”. I told her and she gulped hard.

  I knew that sex was something Shadow never thought would happen to her, but now I was in her life and that changed a lot of things for her.

 “I am a guy and we think about that sometimes and I know you have thought about it to”. I told her and her face went pale.

 “I guess you’re trying to hint that maybe tonight…c-could be the n-night that w-we…” She paused and I knew what she was trying to say.

“That we make…l-love”. I finished her sentence and she gulped hard again.

“I love you Shadow and I think we’re ready, but if you’re not ready we don’t have to Shadow…we can wait”. I told her and Shadow turned away from me.

 She stared at the wall and I waited patiently for her to answer me. I was scared too, but I hide it from Shadow. She turned back around to me with a blank expression on her face. I knew that she wasn’t ready and I wasn’t going to push her in to doing it. There was no rush and I could wait until the time was right.

“I guess you’re not ready but I don’t care”. I got up from my bed and walked past Shadow and went to my window. The rain was calming down and I could vaguely see the moon shining through the clouds.

“I’m just glad to see you again Shadow. I really missed you. It’s just amazing to have you here in my room”.

 I walked over to the end of my bed and sat down.

“I know you’ll be ready one day and I can wait for that day”.

 She didn’t reply but instead I watched her get up and walk over towards me. She stood in front of me and I was wondering what she was doing.

 “I never said that I wasn’t ready now did I”.

“No but…” I started to say but she put one of her fingers to my lips and stopped me from saying another word. “

I love you Justin…and I’m ready to take that step with you”. She said slowly sliding her finger off my lip and down my chin giving me goose bumps.

“And I’m ready to”.

She put her hands on my shoulders and pulled herself onto my lap so that she was striating me. I felt my heart doing triple back flips.

“I love you Shadow”.

“I love you Justin”.

I put my hands on her hips and pulled her closer.

“You do know how it’s done”? I asked her and she snickered.  

“Yeah I know and… I heard it hurts…the f-first time”? Shadow asked me and I was afraid to answer her. Sarah told me that the first time is painful for a girl and I knew Shadow was scared already.

 “My sister told me it is but I’ll be gently…I promise”. I told her and she slide her hands over my shoulders and onto my back. I wasn’t sure if I was more happy or scared but I did know that we loved each other and that we were ready to take this step.