Killed by Cancer

Chapter 53

'Being alone has a power that very few people can handle'- Unknown.

***

I didn't go with Tyler or Landon. I couldn't stand going into his new car that he bought knowing that I destroyed his last car. Instead, I ran home and went to my bedroom. I locked the door and put in my earphones and played 'Breathe Me'. Usually, I don't listen to such depressing songs but I felt an urge to.

I turned up the volume to the highest it went and I lay down on my floor, crying. After the song ended, I put a playlist of sad songs on and just lay there. Hopeless. Alone.

Hours must've went by when I heard someone knock on my bedroom door.

"Alexa, dinner is ready," Lilly said.

"I'm not hungry," I said, trying to sound as if I was okay.

Alexa. That's who I was. The girl with cancer. The girl who's going to die because of cancer. I didn't want to be Alexa. Walking into the mirror, I hated what I saw. I saw a girl who looked like she was going to die. I didn't want to be Alexa no more.

Opening my makeup drawer, I applied layers of mascara onto my eyelashes. I contoured my face using a bronzer and I applied a deep red lipstick to my lips. It made no difference; I still looked like Alexa. Scrambling through my drawers to find a pair of scissors, I wanted to cut my hair. I needed to. But I failed to find any.

I walked forward and lay on the floor. Dozens of texts came from Kylie, Landon and Tyler but I ignored them and never read them. Instead, I turned my phone on silent. I stayed like this until I eventually fell asleep on the floor.

I was awoken in the morning by Mum, knocking on the door.

"Alexa, come down for breakfast. Are you planning to go school today?" She asked.

"No and I'm not hungry," I said.

"Darling, you haven't eaten yesterday either," she said.

I remained motionless on the floor, not bothering to respond to Mum. Hours went by when I would just stay on the ground and not do anything. John knocked on the door at lunch and he asked if I wanted to get a takeout. I turned down his offer.

It was as if time had just stopped.

"Alexa can I come in?" Mum asked.

I heard her trying to open the door but it was locked and she could not get in. I didn't want her to either.

"Lex, please open the door sweetheart," she said.

I ignored her and she eventually left. Sighing, I fell asleep on the floor. I slept for ages until I woke up feeling my stomach in pain. It's probably because I haven't ate in days but I wasn't hungry. I felt numb.

The knocking on the door made me jump.

"Please come out, seriously just talk to me," Ryan said.

I remained silent.

"Alexa, it's me," Ryan said.

I didn't say anything.

"Okay, come out soon, I love you," he said.

"Love you too," I barely whispered but he heard me.

"Talk to me then," he whispered back.

"I can't," I whispered.

He left and I was alone again. Later on in the day, Mum, John, Lilly and Ryan tried to get me out of the room but I didn't want to. I wanted to be alone. I didn't even need the toilet because I hadn't eaten or drank anything.

Another day went by.

It was morning and John knocked on the door.

"Alexa darling, if you don't come out by the evening then I'm going to have to knock this door down," he said.

I never replied.

"Be brave and face the music," he said before I heard his footsteps moving away.

Slowly, I sat up and went towards the door, putting my back to it. I buried my face in my knees as my tears came out and I sobbed quietly. That's when I heard a gentle knock on my door.

Whoever it was, they were sitting down, their back against the door. The same position as me but on the other side.

"Alexa, it's me, Tyler," he said.

I didn't say anything.

"I know you're feeling shitty because who would blame you, I'm not going to tell you it's going to be alright, it's never going to be alright after hearing what you've heard but you know what you'll have, you'll have me with you every step, I'll be helping you and I'll be with you all the time that you'll be sick of the sight of me," he said.

"I'll never be sick of the sight of you," I whispered.

"Could you do me one thing?" Tyler asked.

"Depends," I replied.

"Open the door?" Tyler asked.

I stood up with difficulty and I unlocked the door. Tyler opened it and I saw the look of worry on his face as I collapsed into his arms. I knew I looked a mess. My makeup was smudged on my face and mascara was running down my face. My face was pale and I felt awful.

Sobbing into his arms, I held onto him tightly, afraid that I'd fall if I let go. He carried me and took me to the bathroom. Tyler placed me on the small counter.

He opened the bathroom cabinets and got out the makeup remover. Tyler took out a sheet of wipe and gently wiped the makeup off my face until my face was clear of any sight of makeup.

He cleaned my lips last before kissing them.

"Shall we get some dinner?" He asked.

"I'm not hungry," I replied.

"Are you telling me Alexa is not hungry? I'm sorry but I don't believe that," he said, making me chuckle.

Slowly, I got off the counter and Tyler helped me go downstairs. I saw Mum mouth a thank you to Tyler when we headed into the kitchen. Tyler sat at the table besides me and we ate a slice of the pizza.

"Oh, that tastes so good," Tyler said.

"I made it," Lilly said.

"No wonder it's got so many vegetables on it," I said.

Ryan chuckled.

"Hey, vegetables are healthy," Lilly said.

Tyler took me to bed later. I got changed and Tyler stayed besides me till I fell asleep. I hope he keeps his promise.

Because I don't know what I'll do without him.

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I really want to get close with someone from Canada or America because I love your accents. By close I mean friends xx

Or someone from a different country I don't mind