It's Been A Long Time... [Desperate Measures Sequel]

FiftyOne.

I had two days until I had to attend court, I had managed to avoid thinking about it but now I did because I had to prepare for it. Not even being back at Dean's gave me comfort, it was just so quiet and lonely. It had been a whole week since he left and I had been here alone for four days now, his smell had left the sheets and his pillow and now I was left with nothing to comfort me. 

My brother had sent me some pictures of baby Theodora, I had to admit she was so beautiful. I couldn't wait to hold her, to have her close to me. I wanted her to know who I was, someone to love unconditionally without any questions.

 This morning I had woken early, I had to try and get some of the pressure that was building off my mind. I had decided the gym was the best thing for me to do if I popped to the gym I could take all my anger out on the punchbag.

I had managed to get up and have something to eat, an apple before I filled my water bottle with cold water and changing from my pyjamas into my gym outfit, a slogan tee with a pair of shorts. I took a seat on the sofa as I pulled a pair of long socks on, pulling them up to my knees before pushing them back down and then standing. 

As I headed to the shoes I started to push my feet into my bright green gym trainers before I was surprised by a knock at the door. Raising an eyebrow I quickly got my feet into the shoes before turning towards the door, turning the key I pulled the door open. 

"Katherine?" I was surprised to see her here and she was with the two girls who promptly smiled at me before running past me and into the house. "What are you doing here?" I asked as I opened the door for her to come in.

Her hair was dishevelled and her outfit looked like she had just got out of bed. She stepped into the house closing the door behind herself as she managed a weak smile in my direction, "I didn't know where else to go." She headed into the living room where the girls obviously hadn't been since it remained untouched apart from my water bottle which waited for me on the coffee table. 

"What's happened?" I asked as I sat down on the sofa and watched as she sat on the opposite seat and crossed her legs. 

I slipped my trainers off and pulled my feet up on the sofa as she looked at me. "I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?" The word left my lips in more of a breath, I felt like I had been sucker punched. It wasn't that she didn't deserve to be pregnant, it was just it felt like everyone else around me was either pregnant or just having a baby. 

She ran her hands through her hair brushing it away from her face before looking back at me, there were tears in her eyes as she made eye contact with me. "I don't know what I am going to do," she told me as the tears started to stream down her cheeks. 

"What do you want to do?" I asked her cautiously as I watched her as she wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her black tee. 

She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know." She covered her face with her hands, "How am I going to tell Jon or my mom?"

"Hey," I reached across and placed a hand on her knee, "It's going to be okay." I tried my best to assure her as she continued to cry into her hands before she moved her hands and looked at me. 

Her face was stained red from the tears and her eyes were bloodshot before she wiped her face a final time. "It's not," she whined as we heard bumping from upstairs where the girls had scurried off too. "I love those two but they are hard work, I can't add another child into the mix."

I took my hand back slowly as I managed a smile at her, "You are so lucky." Maybe she didn't feel that lucky at this moment in time but some of us would never have the luxury of the miracle of life. 

She shook her head as her lips formed a straight line, "I don't feel it." She looked like she could have punched me at that moment in time, she came here for advice and help but I couldn't give her what she wanted. "What do you think I should do?"

"I can't make that decision for you," I explained, "Only you can do that. Please think about what you really want before you make any decisions though." Leaning forward I put my feet on the floor as I gave her a smile, "If you decide to keep it I'll be here to help you."

"I don't want it," she told me honestly.

Tucking my lips in I gave her a slight nod, "If that's your decision-"

"Please don't try to talk me out of it," she asked as she touched her face with her hands then ran her fingers down her face before letting them drop to her lap. "This is what I want."

As I opened my mouth to reply the door swung open and in ran the twins, Cassidy was wearing a bright pink dress that caught my attention as she plopped herself down next to me. Aubrey sat next to her mother and put an arm around her, "Mommy has been sad a lot." 

"Are you going to help mommy?" Cassidy asked me as she leaned against me and smiled up at me. 

My eyes looked away from her before looking at Katherine, "I will do my best." I smiled at her before I looked at Aubrey, "Why don't you two go and make some drinks?"

Aubrey smiled at me before her eyes met her sisters, she jumped up from next to her mother with Cassidy following suit. They left the room leaving myself with Katherine who looked like she was about to break down again. She looked up at me, "Can you help me?"

I shook my head, "No." 

"Please?" She begged as she reached forward and tried to take hold of my hands which I kept to myself. "I can't do this alone!"

There was no way I was going to help her in any way if she was going to get rid of this growing baby. "Please do not ask me to help you, Katherine," I sighed as I gave her a weak smile. "I understand what you do to your body is your choice, but I don't want to be a part of it. Maybe you should speak to your family before you go through with anything."

She raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about? I am not going to the clinic."

A sigh of relief left my lips as I gave her a little nod. "So...?"

"I'll have the child and give it away then."

My mouth fell open as I listened to the words leaving her lips, she made it sound so easy, she made herself sound so heartless. "It's a big decision."

"This will give me time to tell my family," she assured me. "And they can come round to the idea, slowly."

The night before the court was hard, my head was swimming with all the words that Katherine had said. I hadn't spoken to Dean either, I was going to call him but I just couldn't find the words to say. If I told him about Katherine then I would be telling him before she got a chance, if I didn't tell him then he'd want to know if I knew later. I didn't know if I was going to win, I didn't want to mess around with the order of things. 

As I laid in bed I tossed and turned as I tried to find a comfortable spot to fall asleep in. I knew tomorrow was going to be a big day and that I had to keep my calm. 

So far this evening I had ignored a call from Stephanie and three from Seth, those were the people I didn't want to speak to this morning. I had tried to phone my brother but he didn't answer, he did send me a text to explain that he was busy with the baby and wouldn't be able to talk. 

Hugging Dean's pillow close to me I tried to imagine it was him I was hugging but I knew better.