It's Been A Long Time... [Desperate Measures Sequel]

FiftyNine.

Dean wasn't outside of the room I had been in and when I left the court I didn't find him there either. Taking what little courage and confidence I had left I got into a cab and went to his place. I asked the cab driver to wait before I knocked on the door. I noticed that the lights were on, so I could only assume he was in, the car in the driveway was also a big giveaway. After two minutes and me knocking a little more, I realized he was not going to be opening the door. My heart seemed to sink as the realization hit me square in the face. Tears filled my eyes as I turned away from the door and headed back towards the cab. I opened the back door on the cab and turned to look back at the house again, nothing changed, he had not opened the door and he didn't seem to be watching from the window. I took a deep breath and climbed back into the cab and closed the door before giving the driver my destination. 

I turned and watched the house as the cab pulled away with me in it, tears streamed down my face as I thought about my life here with him. About how we had already been through so much, how maybe this was for the best. We spent more time arguing than we did being happy. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to be with him and be happy all the time. Checking my phone I sighed as I realized that no one was trying to get in contact with me, nothing from Dean, nothing from my friends, nothing from my family. 

Swiping to unlock my phone I sent a text to Dean telling him that I was sorry before I locked my phone and placed it in my handbag. 

The cab driver dropped me off at the hotel I was staying at, I went to my room where I put all my stuff into the small suitcase I had brought with me before I decided with a heavy heart that I knew what I needed to do. I laid on the bed, exhausted from everything, physically exhausted from all the crying I had done, mentally exhausted from the day in court, from the words I had spoken and the thinking I had done. 

The truth about me was out there now and there was nothing I could do to stop it being talked about. My past was just that, my past. I wanted Dean to be a part of my future but from the lack of communication, it seemed he didn't want me to be a part of his. I checked my phone but was disappointed to find that he had not replied, I tried to call him but there was no answer which not only upset me but frustrated the hell out of me. 

Looking at my phone I lifted it above my head as I scrolled through some of the photos I had on my phone. There was a few from Thanksgiving, although it wasn't that long ago, it felt like years ago now. I slowly swiped my finger over various photos until I realized I was scrolling back to photos I had taken a long time ago. I laughed when I saw the photo of myself and Seth and how we were just being stupid out in a coffee shop. Locking my phone I placed it on the bed next to me before I pushed myself off the bed and checked the suitcase. I pulled everything out, slowly repacking it in nice and neatly all folded up. I removed my passport and placed it next to my phone on the bed before zipping up the case.

I emptied the contents of my handbag on the bed before chucking away any unnecessary things, receipts and tickets before I put away my phone, purse and passport in it before taking the small bottle of pills I carried around and sitting on the bed. I stared at the bottle in my hands as I read the label over and over. It was just a small bottle of pills that were prescribed to me inside I felt depressed after leaving rehab, I had been through some tough times but I never felt the need to take them, until now. 

Pushing down on the child-proof lid I unscrewed it before tipping the pills into my hands and staring at them. I hated taking pills when I was in rehab although they were much easier to take than being injected. I dropped the handful of pills on the bed before I picked up my handbag and left the hotel room. Placing the key on the reception desk I left the hotel.

My body and mind felt detached from each other like I was watching myself. I couldn't stop myself though, I didn't stop as I hailed a cab, I just climbed in and gave the driver an address before sitting in the back of the cab and waited for us to arrive. 

Watching the world pass by it was a horrible blur, like when you are on a fairground ride and it's going too fast. On arrival, I paid the driver before leaving the cab and heading to the door of the house. I knocked quietly on the door, two minutes later the door was yanked open and on the other side stood Katherine. 

"What are you doing here?" She asked me as she held the door close to her. 

I shrugged my shoulders, "I wanted to check on you."

She sighed, "Come in" she opened the door for me and I entered her home. 

This was strange, her home was not what I was expecting. I guess I expected it to be a mess but it was perfectly clean and tidy. "Where are the girls?" I asked her. 

"With their uncle, he took them out for ice-cream." She held her hand out towards a door, I entered the room and sat on the sofa as I looked around the beautifully decorated living room. 

She had taste, a beautiful glass coffee table was in the middle of the room and the legs were shaped like tree trunks, the sofa and chairs were a soft black material and all the other furnishings were a gold. 

"What's happened?" Katherine asked me as she sat on a chair and looked directly at me. 

Looking at her I sighed, "I don't want to talk about it."

She laughed, "You two are exactly the same." She smoothed down the front of her hooded top as she pulled it tighter around herself. "I would have never of thought that I would be the one telling you two that you have to sort this out but I've already told him that this evening."

"What did he say?" 

Raising her eyebrows she smiled, "He said he didn't want to talk about it."

"I want to talk to him," I told her as I got hopeful that she might be able to help me. 

She leaned across and touched my knee as she grinned widely at me, "I'm sure I can sort that out for you both."

I watched as she picked up her phone from the coffee table before she started to scroll and then type. "Please don't send him a message," I told her, she looked up at me confused. "It's not down to you to make sure he gets in contact with me."

She sighed as she locked her phone and put it back on the table, "I haven't told him yet."

My eyes travelled to her stomach before looking back at her worried eyes. "Whenever you are ready he'll listen."

"I'm ready," she explained. "He's just so preoccupied with everything that going on with you, your court case, your break up-"

"Break up?" I questioned as I interrupted her. I guess we were broken up right now, if he didn't want to even talk to me, then I guess that was right. Looking down at my hands I checked my mobile phone in my bag before I sighed and stood up. "Tell him tonight," I told her as I smiled at her. 

"Are you leaving already? I thought you'd be here when I told him." She stood up and followed me as I walked through to the hall. 

I reached for her and pulled her into a hug, "You don't need me to do that." I grinned at her as I pulled away and looked at her face, "You've done all this without me, this is a piece of cake."

She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, "Talk to you soon, yeah?"

Nodding my head I managed to keep a smile on my face as I spoke, "Of course."