It's Been A Long Time... [Desperate Measures Sequel]

FiftyFour.

Returning to the courtroom, I was shaking as I returned to the seat in the witness box as the judge came in followed by the jury. My eyes scanned over the public box, my gaze falling over Dean, Seth, Stephanie and Hunter, I looked away from them as I looked at Milton who was standing in the middle of the room waiting for permission to start. 

He looked at me and smiled at me before he walked over towards the box, "You can do this," he whispered to me before the guard came over, he swore me back into the courtroom before we began again. 

"You couldn't get the door unlocked," Milton refreshed everyone's memory to the point we were at. I didn't need my memory refreshing, I lived through it. "What happened once you couldn't unlock the door?"

I wanted to hide away, I wanted to not answer any of these questions and leave the courtroom and never speak of it again. "I felt him come up behind me," I felt sick, I have to resist the urge not to throw up. "Something was placed over my mouth and nose."

"Something?" 

"I don't know what it was," I panicked as I thought about the item he used. "I remind it smelled like chemicals, like a swimming pool." The smell came rushing back to me as I gulped and tried to ignore all the eyes on me. 

Milton walked towards me, "Do you remember anything else?"

Nodding I looked down at my hands, "Little bits."

"Can you tell me?"

I looked back up at him, only the two of us sharing eye contact, "Yes." I breathed shakily as I had to tell what I had only told Detective Joyce, things I hoped that I would have to repeat.

"I woke up," I tried to get rid of all my emotions as I thought about what I was saying, trying to only concentrate on the words leaving my mouth, not the memories in my mind. "For a second he didn't realise I was awake, then he saw my eyes were open." My hands shook and my right leg bounced up and down as I looked Milton in the eye. "I could feel his hands on my skin."

"Where on your skin?" Milton asked me as he tried to get me to be more specific.

"My inner thigh, my upper thigh, my groin area," I admitted as I felt my eyes glaze over. 

"Did he say anything to you?"

I shook my head, "Not immediately on this occasion." 

"So what happened once he saw you were awake?" Milton continued with his questions as he paced the courtroom. 

My eyes looked at Dean for a brief second, he wasn't looking at me, he was burning a hole into the back of Michael Smythe-Jones' head. My eyes flickered back to Milton before I spoke, "He touched my face, stroked it."

"Did you try to get away?"

"I couldn't move," I said slowly. "My body was heavy like I was under a rock. I tried to move but I couldn't go anywhere."

Milton nodded, "So what happened after he touched your face?"

Looking away from Milton I glanced at my hands, they were shaking like crazy they felt like they were sweating as I tried to rub them on my thighs. "He," I tried to relax my breathing as I thought about everything. "His hands pulled my hair," I squeezed my eyes shut as I spoke. "He leaned close to me before he," I opened my eyes and looked at Milton. "He ra-" I couldn't say the word at first, my mouth shut as I got a sound out. I ran a hand through my hair before I closed my eyes. "He raped me."

I thought I heard some chatter, like whispering in the courtroom, I opened my eyes and looked at Milton who was waiting for me to calm down. I could see people in the public gallery whispering and even Smythe-Jones whispering to his attorney.

"I'm going to need you to be more specific," Milton pressed me before he pushed his glasses up his nose. 

A sigh escaped my lips as I nodded slowly, "I couldn't move, I couldn't stop him and he" I thought I could do it all in one go but I was lying to myself as I breathed shakily. I looked at Milton like it was just the two of us. "I felt him push himself between my legs," bile rose in my throat, "I felt his penis," I closed my eyes. "Inside of me." 

I honestly felt so sick as I spoke the words, this was something I had come to live with and now everyone else in this room had to live with this knowledge too. As I looked at Milton I had to swallow down the sick that had managed to rise up into my mouth.

Grabbing the glass that was in front of me I took a large gulp of the water and tried to rid my mouth of the vile taste that was now invading all my senses. I replaced the glass on the side before Milton gave me a look over checking that I was okay. 

He asked me some more questions before we spoke about Seth and Stephanie waking me up. Milton asked me what I was told during my visits to the police station. It was all very hard to do yet I knew there was still more to come from the side of the defence. 

Milton turned to the judge, "I have no more questions."

The judge looked down at his watch before he stood up everyone in the room doing the same. "We are in an acceptable place to stop for the evening," the Judge looked to each of the lawyers before he turned to the jury. "May I remind everyone that this case is not to be discussed outside of this courtroom with anyone," he nodded, "And that brings a close to today's proceedings."

We watched as the jury left their seats and out of the courtroom before the judge left the room. Milton walked around to where I was sitting before he leaned over the wooden divider, "When we leave here if we go back into the room we have been allocated and from there we can arrange your transport home."

I nodded as I shuffled out of the seat before I climbed down and followed Milton out of the courtroom, Detective Joyce walked behind me to keep me in the middle. We returned to the small room where Milton smiled at me as I sat in the chair. 

"Honestly," he nodded, "You did so well in there."

I shook my head, "I don't know. I have to go home yet."

Milton shook his head, "Now you have spoken about it out loud hopefully tonight you can go home and you can talk to your partner."

Biting my lip I got to my feet as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Today I went into that courtroom and I told everyone what happened, I told the truth but what I didn't get to do was put my partner's mind at ease." I looked out the window to the streets below and sighed. "I know how it sounded in there, I know he'll blame himself."

"Then explain to him," Joyce said as she sat down in a seat and looked up at me as I looked down at her. "If he loves you he'll understand."

I laughed bitterly as I watched Stephanie and Hunter on the street below, "And that's the exactly why he will blame himself."

Milton placed a hand on my shoulder before I glanced at him, "He cannot change the past but together you can change the future." He smiled at me, "I believe from what you have told me about him that you two have something special together."

"I hope so," I sighed hopelessly. I hoped he would be more understanding then my brain was because in my mind no good could come of all this.