It's Been A Long Time... [Desperate Measures Sequel]

TwentyFour

I don't know how long I was sitting in the middle of that ring but I finally managed to get my breathing back to a normal rhythm, I managed to stop the tears from flowing and my hands had finally stopped bleeding and shaking. Looking up from my knees I was glad to find there was no one else here with me, the last thing I needed was someone trying to understand what was happening in my mind. 

So many different things had gone through my head. I hated the truth. 

Stretching my legs out in front of me I laid back in the centre of the ring and looked up at the ceiling, my mind really focusing on my breathing. 

Just as I thought my mind was clear I heard someone moving, I turned my head and saw Seth was walking into the room, his face etched with concern, a mobile in his hand offering out as if it was for me. "It's for you," Seth said quietly as he pushed the phone into the ring. 

Reaching over I grabbed his phone from the apron and looked at it. I would like to think he thought he was helping me, the truth was he was making me worse. Without blinking I ended the call and pushed the phone back to Seth. 

"What's your problem?" He asked me almost like he was growing impatient with me. "If you won't even speak to your brother I have no idea who can help you."

I turned away from him, looking up at the ceiling again, my breathing suddenly getting a little quicker as my brother's news flashed and replayed over and over in my head. 

"Natasha," Seth said my first name trying to get my attention. "I'm here to listen if you want to talk. I can help you, I can't help you if you don't talk though."

My vision blurred, I wish he wasn't being nice to me, it only made me feel worse. I would rather he was mean to me and had a go at me. I would rather he came into the ring and slapped me than trying to reason with me. I didn't want his sympathy, this was my own problem. 

"Tasha," his voice quiet. 

Turning my head to the side I looked at him, the tears falling from my eyes. "You can't help me." 

He looked concerned almost immediately at my words. "Let me help you, let me in and we can get you through whatever it is."

"I think I may be past help." I pushed myself up from the mat and climbed out of the ring. 

Seth watched me as I walked around the ring, I felt my wrist rubbing the dry blood away before I looked up at him. "Tasha," Seth walked towards me, I backed away from him until he stopped walking towards me. "I don't understand what has happened, just yesterday you were fine. I mean I know that thing happened in the ring but that wasn't that bad."

"I have to go," I mumbled as I tried to walk past him. 

He put his hand out almost touching me before I stopped an inch before his hand, "Let me help you."

I shook my head before I pushed his hand out the way and headed up the stairs. Seth was following me, I could hear his footsteps as I walked. My feet took me to the reception desk where I stopped to hand over my details or a large wad of cash, but Seth stood next to me and looked down at me. 

"I'll sort this out," Seth told me. "I think you need to go and get yourself checked out at the hospital Tasha."

Ignoring his advice I left the gym, I left the building, almost on autopilot as I walked. I had a good mile to go before I arrived at the hotel and right now I was not feeling the most active. I trudged along the path, my feet were killing me but not as much as my cut wrists and knuckles. Why did I decide to put my fists through the mirror? 

Grabbing my bags from the hotel room I headed down to my car, I had not washed my hands or my face leaving the dried blood on myself. My bag was hitched on my shoulder as I handed my key in at the reception before I heaved it to my car. Opening the boot I slung my stuff into the boot before I closed it and headed round to the driver's seat. As I sat in the driver's seat I allowed the door to close slowly before I leaned back in the seat and took a deep breath. 

How had I let myself get in such a state? I mean it's one thing to get into a state, but to get into a state in front of someone was something else. What on earth must he be thinking? I was an absolute mess. 

My mind was brought back to the world when my phone started to ring loudly, I opened my eyes and pulled my phone from my pocket before looking at the caller ID. I did not want to speak to my brother right now if I spoke to him I knew I would blame him and none of this was his fault. 

I ignored my phone chucking it on the back seat before I turned the key in the engine starting the car. Putting the car into the drive position I moved it away from the spot, my eyes started to water again as I thought about my brother and Charlotte and what great parents they were going to be. Pulling out of the hotel grounds and up onto the freeway, I found myself at a comfortable fast speed before I let go of the steering wheel to pull on my seat belt. As I grabbed it my tears fell blurring my vision, I felt the car swerving before I heard a honk from another car, quickly I grabbed the wheel straightening my car returning my eyes to the road. 

Realising I was getting nowhere fast I pulled off the road and into a supermarket carpark. My phone rang again as I found a parking spot, grabbing hold of it I checked the caller ID, it was Seth. I didn't want to deal with him and his pity right now, I would rather he was angry with me than he feel sorry for me. 

Turning off the engine I leaned back in my seat and sighed. There was so much on my mind right now, I didn't know what to think. Picking up my phone I ignored the call from Seth before I scrolled through my contacts hovering over Dean's name, I breathed heavily as I looked down at his name. Pressing my finger on his name I bit my lip as I lifted the phone to my ear and listened to it ring. 

I didn't know if he was going to answer, we hadn't spoken since the incident in Stephanie's office, he didn't know I was in Seth's room that time and I had heard his words. I wanted to tell him, to tell him everything was okay, that we could be okay, that I was an idiot. 

Then the phone stopped ringing going through to the generic voicemail message. I groaned as I ended the call, I didn't want to leave a message. I wanted to hear his voice, I needed to hear his voice. 

The next best option was AJ, pressing his name I listened to it ring before he answered, "Well nice to hear from you, Tasha."

Smiling I spoke, "I am so glad to hear your voice right now."