Life as i Didn't Know it

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Zane’s POV

I guess you could say I'm not having much luck right now. in a couple minutes I would have detention with Marissa, I still don’t even know what possessed her to act like that. It wasn’t like her at all, she was respectful and nice. She cared about school and she had one of the highest grade averages. The Marissa in there was not my Marissa.

I never meant to hurt Marissa, I didn’t want to me mean that’s why when I found out we were mates I tried to do it nicely. Because I don’t hate her, I don’t think she’s ugly or a waste of space. She’s worth everything she’s got but I just can’t have her as a mate to lead beside me.

But the wolf inside me is starting to get restless, some part of me knows that I want Marissa even if I'm not ready to admit it. the times I went out on dates with other girls and stuff was mainly because of her, I couldn’t get her off my mind and I was scared. I never did plan on sleeping with them because honestly I don’t think I could go through with it.

I just feel like I'm caving in, and here I am trying to get her not to hate me now. I am sorry for the pain I caused her but not for denying her, I told her my reasons and I don’t want her to feel like she’s not wanted. I’ve heard stories of rejected mates and some of them did not end well, while others ended fine but the beginning was worse. Some of them hated their mates and couldn’t stand the thought of being with them but regrets that after their mate is gone.

Well I'm not like that. I care about my mate I just can’t be with her and if she would just understand that then this would be a lot easier for the both of us. I wouldn’t have to constantly feel guilty and she wouldn’t have to be in pain all the time. But then again she did meet stupid Alex that she’s going out with Friday night.

While lost in my thoughts I walked in Mr. Faye’s room. there was a couple people in there, the school’s trouble kids, some people that were in a bad mood when the teacher decided to pick on them and then there’s Marissa. In total there was seven kids in here and Marissa managed to distance herself from all of them. she was sitting in the back coroner of the classroom while everyone else was sitting with people they knew and tried to get in as much talking and plans they could before the teacher got here.

I noticed Marissa just had a determined look on her face but a tired look in her eyes. she was tired of the bull shit, no question about that.

Marissa’s POV

I watched as Zane walked over to be and took a seat beside me. I guess I knew that he would try and sit beside me. he’s been trying hard lately to get me to forgive him for his little slip ups. But I don’t know if I'm ready, I know I will because they’re little things that I already knew. I brought it upon myself, he just said it.

I need to get over these petty problems and maybe if I just forgive him he’ll leave me alone and be in peace that I don’t hate him. because I don’t, he never did anything to make me hate him other than denying me, but I guess he did that as nicely as he could. I don’t exactly like him but I don’t hate it. you see this is why I hate thinking about me and him, it always gets complicated.

The teacher walked in the room, saving me from being eaten alive from my own thoughts. I noticed it wasn’t Mr. Faye. It was some older lady and she didn’t look to mean.

“Ok kids Mr. Faye can’t be here right now so I'm going to be filling in. you all know the rules, no talking, no getting up. You stay seated quietly and wait for the time to be up.” We all nodded and she took a seat on the desk.

Behind her glasses I noticed how her eyes were stating to droop closed. She was tired and with all the silence she would surely fall asleep any minute now. and I'm not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I wasn’t ready to face Zane yet and I know he would talk to be if he had the chance too.