Mind Or Matter

Chapter Four

Ellie

I opened my heavy eyes. My cell was dark, very little light coming through the small window above my hard cot.

Sitting up from my cot, I looked down to see what I was wearing, a little surprised to see a white hospital gown. I could've sworn I fell asleep last night in a long, blue shirt.

But the doctors were always examining me in the night, doing tests that I wouldn't let them do in the day. Normally, I'd wake up with itchy skin or a throbbing headache.

The walls and tile were white, dull and cold. A small window sat up high along the wall, almost too high for me to see out of.

But something felt different. Maybe it's the cold coming through the window, I thought, standing up on my cot to look through the glass, which was shut. No, it's closed...

I sighed, looking at the only sight I could see out in the real world – a small hill with a scrawny little tree at the top. The leaves would slowly fall to the ground, floating to their deaths.

I looked away from the window, about to jump down from my cot when I turned back around to face the tree.

"Leaves..." I stammered, a quivering finger lifting up to point at the tree, "they're g-grey. Grey leaves!" I began to scream, banging my fists against the window.

A voice on the intercom shouted, "disturbance in cell F-4, disturbance in cell F-4..."

Footsteps came towards my room. The white door banged open, three people in light blue coats marching in. Two grabbed me by the arms and the third prepared a needle for me.

"Ellie, Ellie, don't fret," the man with the needle said, placing the tip on my arm, "it'll all be over soon..." He pressed him thumb against the plunger, the clear liquid flowing into my veins.

The world around me grew fuzzy, the doctor's words hazy and unclear.

"You're going to be just fine..."

The ringing grew louder and louder.

I shrieked. My hospital gown, which was now light blue like the doctors' coats, flapped over the vibrating table.

"Ellie, calm down," Doctor Karis hushed, staring at the computer screen. Her bleached blonde hair, which was tucked away in a low, neat ponytail, bounced as her head went up and down, from the monitor to her clipboard again and again.

A dozen other doctors observed on the other side of the glass, jotting notes down on clipboards with red pens.

The room was small and white. It reminded me of my cell. Expensive hospital equipment stood around the shaking table I was on. There was a glass screen by the door, separating me from the nerdy doctors on the other side, who observed my every move.

Doctor Karis reached for a small black knob on the machine by my side, turning it to the right. "Now, you're going to feel some pressure in your limbs."

I looked down at my arms and legs, which were underneath metal cuffs on the cold table. I could barely move my wrists and ankles.

At first, I wondered why nothing was happening. Then I felt it. Terrible, torturing pressure rose up from my legs to my arms.

I felt like they were going to fall off. Screaming, my rattling body twitched from the pain, shaking from the moving table underneath me.

I closed my eyes, trying to take my mind off of the strange pain that throbbed from all over my body.

Doctor Karis grinned at me. "Too much?" She turned the dial up to full maximum, trying to shout over the loud noise. "Only sixty seconds and it'll all be over!"

The doctors wrote down some more, their glasses sliding down a bit every time they looked at their papers.

I felt like my vocal chords would bleed from all of my screaming. Pain was everywhere.

"LET ME GO!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, sweat dripping off my chin. "LET GO! STOP! STOP, BITCH! STOP!"

Doctor Karis's eyes led down to her small, black watch. "Ten seconds. Nine, eight, seven six..." She place her fingers over the dial, barely hovering over.

I let out one more shriek before the table slowed to a stop. Doctor Karis slowly turned the dial to the left until it was all the way off.

She smiled at me. "Better?" She tilted her head to one side, as if she wore a heavy earring made of gold.

My breath was fast and heavy. All the wires connected to me felt hot on my skin. The old, large computers beside me recorded everything – blood pressure, temperature, oxygen levels...

Doctor Karis turned her back to me, facing the men and women on the other side. "Let us review the results in my office. Send Ellie back to her cell."

Two women in green doctor coats burst into the room through the backdoor, rushing towards me. They unhooked all of the wires and computers, lifting me up and placing me in a gurney, strapping my arms and legs down.

I didn't even bother to fight. After living at the asylum for twelve years, I'd gotten used to the things that happened.

Sort of...

The two women, who were Hispanic, spoke in Spanish to each other. I couldn't really understand; only a few words were clear. They said my name, something about my cell, "crazy girl", and ill.

I still couldn't get used to doctors calling me, "crazy girl." I'm really not crazy. I don't foam around the mouth or twitch uncontrollably.

I am not insane.

Then what am I doing in the Miami Mental Hospital?

The gurney stopped in front of my room. On the white door was written, Cell F-4, in big, black letters. The woman who was on my left unstrapped me from the table, lifting me into her arms, which smelled weird, like spicy cinnamon. The other woman unlocked the door, swinging it open as if it weighed no more than a bird's feather.

The smelly woman walked inside with me, laying me down on the dark blue cot. Turning her back to me, she spoke fast Spanish to the other woman, who nodded in response.

Both of the women shut the door, walking away.

Once I knew they were gone, I stood up on the cot, gazing out the window.

The leaves on the tree were all grey, like the tree had been burning and the ashes remained on top.

I blinked. When I opened my eyes again, I was shocked to see the leaves of fire, orange flames licking up at the gloomy sky.

I got down onto the cot, lay on my back, and fell asleep.