Mind Or Matter

Chapter Fifty Three

Candi

I walked next to Will, holding his right hand with my left. Birds chirped in the trees above, which were almost out of leaves. Slow weather, I thought. Maybe it's Global Warming or something...

Will's eyes were straight ahead of him. He was the type that looked like he knew exactly where he was going.

And I trusted him for that.

I closed my eyes for a second, trying to forget about the argument we had only minutes ago. God, I've never seen him so angry, I thought, shaking my head. When he shouts... you can really feel the pain behind his words...

Why does he have so much pain in the first place? Is it the things that talk to us in our sleep? Is it the psychiatry and psychology driving him mad?

Suddenly, I had another thought.

"Will, why did you choose psychiatry?"

He looked up from the green grass, slowing his walk. "What?" he asked politely, his cute British accent crisp and sharp.

I smiled a little, looking away from his honey brown eyes. "You just seem so interested in philosophy. So why'd you choose psychiatry?"

He paused for a moment.

Ugh, why did I say that? It's such a stupid question-

Will cleared his throat, looking at me in the eyes. I could barely stand it; I wanted to hold him, to hug him, to kiss him...

"I do not question the existence of the universe," he started, gazing into the horizon, "I question the existence of the mind."

Will suddenly stopped, standing in the center of Central Park. I stopped a few seconds after him, about to ask why, when he began to talk.

"Candi, I've known you for two years, and I honestly liked you since I first met you." He paused, blushing a little. "Ever since my best friend Lilly killed herself..."

A thudding, dark feeling fell into my gut. Just like Rebecca, I thought to myself, tears rising up in my throat.

"...and I had kind of closed myself off from the world after that. But, once I met you, I could feel my world going from black and white to filled with color. Every time I heard you laugh or saw you smile, it was like an artist painting the canvas of my life added a splash of color." Will looked down at the green grass, digging into his pocket. "And I don't want that color to ever go away."

Slowly, he got down on one knee.

I didn't realize what he was doing at first, until he opened the box, revealing a golden ring with a teal jewel in the center.

Right after he opened the black box, I noticed someone standing behind Will, just a yard or so away from the two of us.

It was Rebecca.

"What..." I muttered, breathing heavily.

Will's face took a form of panic, and he started apologizing. "I'm sorry, Candi, if you don't want to get married," he started, standing up, "but I... I just thought I would try."

Slowly, whimpering, I raised a finger to Rebecca, pointing to her still figure behind Will. He turned his head around, then back to face me. "Candi, are you oka-"

"R-Rebecca," I stammered, tears welling up in my eyes. It was all that I could say before crying.

Will looked back behind him, this time turning his entire body. "What is it?" he asked, confused. Turning back to face me, he reached out to me. I could tell he was at a loss of words.

Rebecca slowly took steps towards Will, her face cold and serious. I knew, deep inside, that it wasn't her, but she looked exactly how I remembered her – heavy eyeliner, mascara, long, pin straight brown hair, a pale face, pure hazel eyes, and those natural red lips that boys liked.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as Rebecca spoke. "He doesn't really love you." Her colorful lips turned up into a smile, a kind I had never seen her wearing. "He doesn't even think you exist. Come with me, instead. I liked you. You were my best friend. Or, at least, you said you were." All of the sudden, a red mark on the left side of her cheek appeared.

The red mark that I created when I slapped her.

Will saw my teary eyes, and his eyes soon mirrored mine. "Candi, please... let's go. Back to the apartment. Wherever you'd like." He looked embarrassed, almost ashamed.

But I could barely hear him. Rebecca was now walking towards me, walking right around Will. He shuttered, as if a cold draft was passing through him.

It's not real! She's just a hallucination or something!

But she was real. Everything about her was as real as the man standing in front of me, who still held the wedding ring box.

Rebecca was now standing between me and Will. I was looking at her, not Will. And I could tell that Will knew that I wasn't looking at him.

The sun, falling from its peak in the sky, suddenly seemed to disappear. So did Will. And the rest of the park.

All I could see was Rebecca. I wanted to catch up with her, to talk to her. But my mind was so crowded with surprise that I blanked out. I didn't say anything.

Rebecca, her chin down, looked up at me with her pupils only, still grinning. "It's your fault that I died. If you would have stayed with me, if you had remained loyal, then they wouldn't have gotten me. They wouldn't have killed me."

I frowned, more tears coming out. "Who? Who killed you?" All of my common sense was gone, and I grabbed her hand, squeezing it.

Ice coldness rushed from my fingertips up to my heart. I immediately let go, holding my hand, which was red with frostbite.

Run away, my conscience whispered. Run faster than you've ever run before. Run with Will. Get away from her. She isn't real!

But my feet were glued to the grass. It was almost like, even though I knew this was a bad idea, I couldn't abandon her.

Again.

"You said me that you liked me. You said we'd be best friends forever!" Rebecca growled, her tone sinister now.

I started to cry again, remembering when I hit her and the night at the football game when I heard her repeat those words. "Please... why did you come here?" I didn't dare ask how she got here, or if this was even Rebecca.

Rebecca, her eyes now tainted red, chuckled a little. "To kill you."

All of the sudden, she withdrew a dagger from her sweater pocket. Thrusting her arm forward, I felt the blade pierce through my skin.