Mind Or Matter

Chapter Fifty Two

William

Candi was ecstatic when I told her that I got a job in New York. And she almost died when I offered her to come with me.

Of course, it's obvious what her answer was.

We boarded a flight to New York on Sunday, just as I had planned. I told Candi that we could stay in Jake's apartment until we got things figured out.

It was a nice, warm day in New York, unusual for mid-November. Candi and I were walking around the city, side by side.

She didn't know that I was taking her to Central Park.

She didn't know that I was going to ask her to marry me.

Turning a corner, we passed a Starbucks. Immediately, my thoughts drifted back to my old job.

And then my thoughts crept towards Angels and Kings, the lowest, most unknown bar in Miami. I remembered having few customers a day, usually about seven guys stopping by daily, if there was a business meeting being held there.

Darkness shadowed over my mind as I recalled that night in the alley behind the bar, with Candi and Chase.

("That's not what I say.")

Shuddering, I glanced at Candi, who was looking up at the cloudless sky above us.

"My middle name," she whispered suddenly, her voice hushed and smooth; delicate.

I turned towards her more, raising an eyebrow. "What did you say?"

Candi smiled, closing her eyes. "Sky – my middle name. There was a young girl, fourteen, who was dying in the hospital I was born in, so my mom gave me her middle name."

I smiled. "What did she have?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean, how did she die? Cancer? Failed operation?"

Candi shook her head, her pace slowing just a little. "The power went out and the doctors heard screaming coming from her room. When they got in, her throat had been slit and there was blood all over the room. On the walls of her room was written RED SKY. My mom told me this when I was seven after I had asked her about my middle name. Nobody knows who killed her, but they assume it was suicide."

I pursed my lips a little, then scoffed. "Wow."

Suddenly, Candi, giving me a look that

(Lilly)

she made when I accidentally offended her. "You think that's funny?"

I explained, "no, it's just... that's just... wow." I started laughing, trying to stop. But laughing just gets worse when you're not supposed to be doing it.

"Will, a girl died! She killed herself! How is that funny?" She moved some pink hair out of her face, then shifted onto one leg, eyes burning into mine.

I covered my mouth with my left hand, mumbling, "sorry."

Candi huffed. "God, Will, can't you just be normal?" Right after the words leaped out of her mouth, her eyes dilated and her lips formed a small "o" shape.

A cold feeling rushed through me. Did she just...? I wondered, looking at Candi like she was a different person, the type of girl that was popular in high school, a cheerleader, a mean girl.

"Will..." she started, trying to apologize.

I put a hand up, palm facing her. "No. I've put through you staying at my apartment, using my money, and I've even let you call me Will. I hate that name! I fucking hate it!" Tears in my throat, I tried to stay stern, serious. "But making fun of my mild Asperger's... that crosses a line." Good, I thought, you didn't cry.

But Candi was the one that was crying. "I am so sorry, Will, William... I wasn't thinking."

Anger took over. "No, you weren't! If you have a shred of common sense in you, maybe you wouldn't do that! And maybe you wouldn't have stayed with Chase after so many years!" Ouch, I thought. Too far.

Candi's tears stopped coming out. A mask made of pure hatred was placed over her, covering all of her beautiful qualities. It was almost like it wasn't even Candi talking to me. It was like

(Lilly)

she was a completely different person.

"Don't you dare bring that up! It wasn't like I had a choice! It wasn't like I wanted to stay! It wasn't like I loved him!"

We both stood about ten yards away from Central Park now, stopping. I had barely even realized we were walking.

I looked around at the empty street, then back to Candi. "You could've stayed with me! I would've taken care of you! I would've let you stay! I wouldn't let that asshole come near you! I would've loved you!"

Silence.

Candi smiled a little. "Really?" The mask of rage, of anger, simply faded away, slowly being lifted off until I could see her again, the girl I loved.

I nodded. "Of course."

Silence again. Neither of us knew what to say to the other.

I finally spoke. "You want to go to the Park?" I offered. Please say yes, please...

"Sure," was all she said, stepping a little bit closer to me. Her fingers lacing together with mine, we both walked together into the park.

And I knew that this was the time to propose.