Mind Or Matter

Chapter Fifty Seven

Candi's voice awoke me.

"Will?"

I opened my tired, heavy eyes, squinting. But, once I saw Candi standing across from me, in the center of the room, they were wide open, and I had jumped off of the cot.

"Candi!" I exclaimed, trying to keep my voice quiet. "You're, you're alive!"

Candi's thin smile suddenly snapped. Her eyes, before warm and dreamy, were now cold and icy. But it wasn't an evil kind of cold, more like a sorrow-filled feeling. "I don't have a lot of time." Suddenly, I could hear violin plucking the intro to Ed Sheeran's Photograph.

Our song, I thought, remembering when Candi and I first met, how later she told me that she had the song stuck in her head.

(It reminds me of you, Will)

And now it was playing, right here. It didn't sound like it was coming from inside the room, upwards, or behind me. I could tell that it was coming right from my head, the music playing in my mind.

I took a quick moment to reflect on Candi – she had on the same dress she wore to the Miami Charity Ball, a smile on her face, and her naturally straight hair, dyed pink (though she had never said why).

Candi held out her hand. "Would you like to dance?" she asked, the warm, summery feeling back in her eyes, the grey color shimmery with tears.

I took her hand, which was surprisingly cold. Not Demonic, burning cold, but the cold that reminded me of the chilly winters in London, of playing in the snow with Lilly, of swinging on the swing sets with her at midnight, the biting wind making me smile.

It was the nice cold, the cold I loved.

All of the sudden, I wasn't in my cell anymore. Candi and I were dancing together in Central Park. The green grass tickled my feet; the sun shone down on us. Tiny snowflakes danced down from the sky, which appeared to be cloudless. The park was empty of people – the only other sound besides the music was the common bird call or strong wind blowing the tree leaves, which were shades of orange and yellow.

Everything was perfect.

The music started, the string quartet perfect and beautiful. I soon started to think that it was all a dream, that it wasn't real.

But it didn't matter whether it was real or not.

I was with her again.

I got to see her smile one last time.

We danced slowly, holding each other, knowing that this really was the last time we could.

The chorus hit and I spun Candi around, her fingers clutching mine while I let go of her with my left arm. As she circled herself a few times, her hair flew up, going sideways in all directions. It sounds messy when I think about it, but watching her made it seem so beautiful.

She flew into my arms. I almost dropped her, but my muscles seemed to react before I brain and I caught her, dipping her close to the ground. She smiled, and I smiled back.

Everything was perfect. The music was playing in my head, yet I felt like a live orchestra was performing all around us.

I could feel the music, the beat.

Our love.

The music continued, now about halfway through the song.

{I walked down the hallway towards that troubling William Harker's room, my security uniform shifting with every movement. Peeking through the one-way glass on the door, I shook my head. He was dancing by himself, but it was as if he had a partner. Shrugging it off, I was about to leave when a sudden gut feeling told me to stay and watch. So I did, looking at that Harker boy, wondering what the hell he was trying to do.}

As we danced, I started to remember times when it was just us, when other people had stared.

Before, I assumed they were looking at her hair or something, surprised by the color.

But, now, I had an epiphany – Candi never existed.

William, how the fuck does that make sense?! You have even told her yourself that she was the only person that was real! It's not an epiphany, it's just a stupid conspiracy that doesn't make sense!

But it does! It's almost like... whenever people stare at us, they're looking at me. They're staring at me. They're watching me like I'm crazy.

Because I am crazy; because I'm here, sitting an a mental asylum with all the other crazies of the world.

But all of that was nothing right now. All that mattered was Candi, and that she was here with me. Even if she didn't exit – even if she never had existed in the first place... I didn't even care.

The chorus came again.

It had been silent between us until the end of the song drew near, and Candi's tars left her eyes. I guess she could tell I was sad, because she looked up into my eyes and said, "it's okay, William. Someday, you'll be with me again. Someday, we can be together."

For a moment, I thought she was a Demon in disguise, that all of this was fake, that her eyes were about to turn red and she would kill me or whatever the hell the Demons were planning.

I choked, "how soon?!" Even though I knew I wouldn't want to know her answer, I had to. I couldn't live without the truth, without knowing exactly what she meant.

I spun her again, a spin that led into a second dip. Right after I scooped her back up again, Candi twirled out of my arms, standing to the right of the door.

The ending was near. The cello solo came, playing a tune similar to the chorus as Candi smiled one last time, holding a pale hand arm out to me. Her tears, almost transparent in the darkness, flowed slowly down her cheeks.

Suddenly, she didn't look like the Candi I knew before. She was more

(ghost-like)

airy, reminding me of a computer projecting her image; she was made of light. Her hair, no longer pink, was slowly changing color. In a matter of seconds, she had the light blonde hair that she must've had before she dyed it. It was beautiful. I couldn't help but compare it to Lilly's; they were so alike.

The snow was now coming down on us, the air cold. And not the beautiful cold – Demonic cold. The cold that

(Lilly felt in her last solo)

made you feel lonely and sad.

The birds stopped singing.

The breezes faded, replaced by harsh, strong winds that nearly blew me off my feet.

Slowly, like grains of sand, her image blew away, from head to toe. She stood there until the last minute, still smiling beautifully.

I had to let go of Lilly a long time ago, I thought to myself, exhaling softly, closing my eyes. And now I have to do the same to Candi. I have to set her free.

Before I knew it, she was gone, the song had ended, and I was standing alone, my own tears staining my cheeks with color.

Goodbye, Candi, I thought, closing my eyes.

I love you...

I'll always love you.