Too good to go (A Kingsland Road fanfiction)

Part 34- Last chapter

(Authors note; if you can, listen to goodbye by Ella Henderson whilst reading this  on repeat, especially when Josh's reading the speech and when it gets to JOSH'S p.o.v. after Thompson's. If you listen to the one with the crowd in imagine its the cheers for the boys.)

Matt's P.O.V.-

"I can't do this Matt." Josh cries into my shoulder, tears pouring down his face as we all stand in our black suits for the funeral car.

"I can't live without her." He cries again. We all have tears in our eyes; Me, Josh, Thompson, Jay and Connor, as well as Nadine and Jessica; who's here with Jay.

"You're gonna have to. We all are." Connor cries. We hear a car honk outside and Josh just breaks down, his eyes already red and puffy from crying these recent three weeks. I give him a reassuring smile, before we walk towards the front door. I open it and the large funeral cars there, Amy's mahogany coffin surrounded with pictures of her with friends, us, herself and family's as well as flowers surrounding it. Josh shakes his head and gets in, so do the rest of us.

Here it goes.

30 minutes later, at the venue...

Matt's P.O.V.-

Me, Josh, Jay, Connor and Thompson all wait outside till everyone's here to carry the coffin in, Nadine, Jess (Who's holding Jasmine-Amy Grace) and Amy's three others siblings rushing in to save our seats at the front.

Soon, we hear the music and all look at each other, bending down for the coffin.

"3...2..1." I whisper to them. We all pick it up and the doors open.

We carry it in, I can feel eyes resting on us and it feels uneasy even though we're used to it. We place it down in its assigned place before walking to where the girls were sat. Jess (Who has Jasmine- Amy Grace on her lap) Jason, Mario and Jake are all a row behind us. Me, Josh, Jay, Thompson and Connor all sit down, Nadine beside him.

The door opens and I'm the only one that turns around. I'm glad I was.

Lucy.

I feel anger boil up inside of me as she takes a place at the back on her own with a baby next to her who's sleeping, I turn back around, sadness soon re-filling me.

The priest starts, saying how amazing, strong and brilliant Amy was, as me and the other boys mentally agreed with everything. Then Josh was called up.

"And now, we have Amy's boyfriend Josh." The priest says sympathetically.

"It'll be okay." Jay whispers into his ear from the other side of him, and Josh gives him a reassuring smile before walking up.

Josh's P.O.V.-

As I walk up to the podium I feel eyes on me, and it makes me just wanna break down and cry. I stand behind the wooden box, Amy's dark brown/red coffin lies next to me as I look at it before taking the speech I wrote out my chest pocket of my blazer. I open it up, and cough.

"Some of you may not know who I am. I'm Josh, the guy from her favorite boy band which had the privilege of being loved by her. You can think whatever you like about me, but I'm gonna be honest. There's a lot of things I didn't know about Amy. I had to read her diary last week to find out about the things I didn't know. I didn't know Amy meant much loved, dearly loved, beloved in French. I didn't know she'd supported us since before factor and I didn't know that Thompson was originally her favourite till she changed to me a few weeks before x factor. I didn't realize she collected old coke cans for the first eight years of her life. But, I didn't realize how much she loved me and mostly, I didn't realize how much I loved her, needed her. The day she died was a mixed day, I got a beautiful little girl, but I lost the love of my life. A part of me died. Ever since the day I met her I've changed. That girl done so much to me. She's made me angry, sad, she's made me lose myself, she's made me cry, and she made me feel real love for the first time in my life. You know, Amy done this thing when she laughed, her eyes clamped shut together with crinkles at the side, she'd roll her head back, and she'd have the best attitude at the worst times. We went through so much together. And there was this one thing she said to me when we broke up for the first time, and it was this.