Always Have; Always Will.

Chapter twenty nine. (Chris)

As soon as those words left my mouth, I regretted them. I shouldn't have even thought to say that, and I know I was wrong on every level.

   " Questo era troppo lontano, ti sbagli e lo sai (That was way too far, you're wrong and you know it.)" Marco said as he punched me on my chest.

"I've never seen Courtney look so hurt, you need to apologize Chris." Kevin punched my arm. 

I knew that, and I didn't need my friends abusing me either.

"Let's go, Kev." Marco said as they walked towards the door. 

     When Kevin got to the door, he turned. "You shouldn't have been hard on her. She had those kids without an epidural." Kevin said, almost whispering.

Why? I know she told her doctor she wanted one.

"She was too dilated when she got to the hospital. Courtney went into labor alone and in pain. Next time think about that before you make her feel bad about a situation she can't control." Kevin left.

  Now I felt like a worthless jerk. 

   I went in the kitchen and washed the dishes like Courtney asked.    I should've just done this earlier. 

  I started thinking about why I've been an ass, and it came down to one thing: sex.

  We haven't had it since the twins were born, and it's halfway through March.  Nothing remotely close either. No make out sessions, no touching, no innocent cuddling, no kissing. Nothing at all.  I understood we had to wait 6 weeks after the twins were born. It's been 12 weeks.  

  I was about to lay down on the couch when one of the baby's started crying. 

I got up to check on him, when I saw that Courtney was already there, feeding him, and singing to him. She didn't have the best voice, she could carry a tune, but you could hear how much she loved her kids.  I stood there in awe, not even realizing that she had put the baby back in his crib.

  "Can we talk, please Cara ?" I asked as she tried to squeeze past me. After trying and failing, she just said talk.  I pulled her into Hope's room, just in case it got loud again.

   "I'm really sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it and I didn't mean to hurt you so badly.  Will you forgive me?"  

"I forgive you Chris." 

I was happy she forgave me, and I tried to slip her ring back on.

     "Hold up. You have to earn me back. " 

Wait a minute here. "I thought you just forgave me ?"  

"You apologized for what you said, today.   Not for what you've said for the past 3 months, not for how you've made me feel for the last 3 months.   That stuff hurt really bad, Christian. The worst part is, I don't even think you know how genuinely hurtful you were."

I was shocked. "What do you want from me ?"  

"I want the man that I fell in love with, the man I agreed to marry, the man who face timed me and made me laugh while I was in labor. That's what I want from you." 

I ran a hand through my hair while she walked out. 

"I've been fighting for you, for us. Maybe it's time you do the same for me."  Courtney said as she closed the door behind her.