Bungo Stray Dogs Oneshots and Headcannons

Dazai Osamu

"(Y/N)-san~ !" With a loud thud the clinic doors flew opening, revealing the tornado of frivolousness that is Dazai Osamu.

 

"AcK - !" Dazai's head popped up in front of you, interrupting your paperwork as you jumped a little. Having his face stuck in breath range up your face, you stared intensely at the fresh wounds on his face. Snorting, you reached into a box and pulled out few rolls of bandages, and aiming them at his wounds.

"Ah!" Dazai comically attempted to juggle the rapidly unraveling rolls of bandages before collapsing on the floor, bandages strewn messily across the ground. "So mean (Y/N)-san"

You smiled at Dazai before continuing with your paperwork.  But not before long, there were waves of hot breaths rolling down your neck, a finger twirling your bangs as he whispered, breathes tickling your ear, "I want (Y/N)-san to strip me down and touch me"

"Mhm." Ears slightly red, you sighed, standing up before dragging Dazai by his collar to a nearby bed. 

"Ah~ So bold~"

"Say one more word and I'll call Yosano-sensei to heal you." you warned, flustered as you turned to hide your warming face.

"I don't want my precious time with my dear (Y/N)-san to disappear~" he purred, "So i guess I will behave~" as he slouched onto the bed.

Dazai sat in (surprising) silence as you applied ointment on his wounds before wrapping them up. Despite how you purposely jabbed the injuries with the stinging medicine, he never let out even a peep.

Finally finishing, you rolled up the bandages while Dazai inspected the neatly wrapped bandages. "Thank you so much (Y/N)-san~ ! Would you like Strawberry or Chocolate cake as a reward~?" 

"Chocolate. But you have already bought the cake haven't you." You poked Dazai at his side before packing up the medical supplies.

"Ding ding ding ~ ! That is absolutely correct~ ! Wow~! You know me so well that we could have been dating." Dazai exclaims. "Here~ "He pulls out two boxes of cake from his cloak. Miraculously, the boxes were in perfect shape and the cakes were not damaged in any way.

Taking the box that Dazai held out to you, you seated yourself onto the bed, facing Dazai as you silently devoured the cake. 

"(Y/N)-san you really like cake don't you~" Dazai remarked as he looked at your already empty plate. 

"Yeah, it helps to soothe me from troublesome patients like you." You retorted, placing the plate and fork back into the cake container.

"So mean~ I come here to cheer you up from your boring paperwork. Too much paperwork will cause you to be a stuck up like Kunikida you know~" He pouted for a while, before brightening up a little.

"(Y/N)-san~ Say ahh~" You turn around to see Dazai moving his hand towards you, holding a fork full of cake, with a grin that stretched across his face