The Bad, The Bidder, and the Daughter (KBTBB)

Ota: Eighteen

I love my mother as much as the average high school girl. 

No, probably a little bit more. 

Since the beginning its always been me and her, with Dad not joining in till I was about seven or eight. 

Is it disrespectful to Ota to call Takahiro "dad" but not him? It wasn't his fault for not being there, in fact, I'm actually kinda impressed that he didn't use his rich guy powers to super stalk Mom when she left him. I don't think I would've been able to let that slide very easily. The only thing I really resent Ota for is his shitty taste in wives, but then again, I highly doubt she'd shown any signs of discontent or general psychotic behaviors until recently. My bad.

I'm not angry at my mother either. I'm choosing to be empathic and put myself in her shoes. Oh yeah, I would've definitely fucking left. While they both may have loved each other immensely, with an imbalanced power dynamic such as theirs, the relationship was probably more toxic than anyone's willing to admit. And no, I'm not talking about the whole "Koro" thing, although that is definitely a red flag since my mother was clearly not very into it. I don't say "in the beginning" in regards to that either because her suddenly liking it sounds like some sort of unintentional conditioning on Ota's part and not like a healthy BDSM kinda thing like they're trying to tell me it was. I don't blame Ota- nor my mother, for that matter- but it still was very bad.

Even without looking at it from both perspectives, I'm overjoyed at the fact they weren't together for my upbringing. I quite like my life, or should I say "old life"? Perhaps it's too early to say. I love Tomoe and Takeo with everything in me, and I couldn't ask for a better father than Takahiro. When I awaken, I want to take him out for cocoa as a small thank you.

He's more than earned it.

Ota, on the other hand, I'm not quite sure what to do with. 

If I'm being completely honest, I kinda just want to forget about ever coming to Tres Spades. The only part  I can really think of that would bother me about leaving behind is Hina. Maybe Ota'll let me kidnap her for a few days out of her school vacations. I'd like to take her to the beach and build a sandcastle with her. I'll get her an ice cream too. If she's anything like me, she'll probably want, say, strawberry. But for some reason, she strikes me as a vanilla kinda gal. That's perfectly fine with me. 

I'll bring Taka and Tomo too. Both of them are chocolate fiends and would take nothing less other than a double scoop with sprinkles- or in Tomo's case- almonds. 

If I wake up, that's the first thing I'm going to do after sucker punching Sakiko for taking away that possibility from me. Not in the stomach, of course. That'd be sick.

Her face isn't pregnant, though.

Kanato comes to mind, for some reason. After I whisk away my siblings and dad, my next plan is to have a passionate hour or six in his limo. Maybe in a swimming pool. If I'm being honest, though, I'm still not sure I want a serious relationship with him. I can see myself spending the rest of my high school career with him, but I can't see past that. I don't particularly see it ending very well for either of us. He just isn't someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. He's a wonderful guy- sweet, charming, handsome, smart, etc. But I'm not the girl for him. We just don't connect on an emotional level as we do on a physical. I don't know, maybe I'm not putting my self out there enough. At least I can be honest with those feelings instead of it manifesting into a master-puppy fetish, so I've got that going for me.

"ASUKA! ASUKA!"

Huh?

"ASUKA!"

I hear my name being called louder and louder, but I can't tell who it is.

I can't even open my eyes.

Again and again, my name echoes throughout my skull. I can make it out better now- it's not just one person, but... I can't place anything together.

My eyes still won't open.

"Please... Asuka... Come back to me, my sweet little blue bird..." A voice says through choked sobs.

Could that be...

Mom?

Just as I feel my eyes struggling to lift the weight, I slip back into a deep slumber, this time unable to have my own self-reflecting and draw-out monologue.