"IF YOU DON'T HAVE a capacity for solitude, you will always be lonely."
At least, that's what my mother always used to tell me before she died.
To be completely honest, I like solitude more than I liked being around other human individuals. In solitude, there was no one to disagree with you, or try to talk you out of doing what needed to be done. It is something I've always lived with - being alone and not needing anyone. I guess that you could call me a hermit of sorts, but that wouldn't be enough. I'd say more of a pariah really. Then again, I am not sure whether that really fits either.
Always having lived outside the average perception of reality and 'normalcy' has given me an 'abnormal' view of reality - one where death is just a threshold to another life. Not many believe in reincarnation, but there are a select few. Those who do, well, they tend to be pushed to the outer rims of society and estranged. They're not really accepted, but they're not exactly excluded either. That's a curse that all bear and suffer from, and that's just how things are.
Although, while I may live in solitude, there is one person who will not let me be alone.
Madoka Kaname.
She's the one person who has broken down my walls and forced me to realise that having someone - anyone - by your side is a good thing; that some people are kind and caring enough to stay with you through thick and thin. That discovery, well, I guess that it has changed my view on humanity. This whole ordeal, it's been a confronting and challenging experience, but, for a change, I do not wish for it to have never happened - unlike very many things in my life.
As much as I remain stone-faced and distant from the cheery girl to the best of my ability, I can feel my willpower to stay that way crumbling within my body. She's an angel - a goddess, really - while I am a demon - or am I more of a devil? Her selflessness and inability to stop putting herself in harms way for those who she cares for are a direct contradiction to my selfishness to prevent her from ever becoming what she begged me to - a Magical Girl.
I failed, and she destroyed Walpurgisnacht on her own with a single blow. Madoka became the goddess of a new universe where only I know the truth due to my ability to travel through time. She is no longer on this plane of existence despite what I did to get her back - I became the strongest witch ever and changed the laws of the universe once again. I had her for a small while, but she eventually remembered and everything was flung back into the past it once was.
Now, both Madoka and I are forced to live in solitude on another plane of existence - without ever seeing our friends and family again, but by being the constant death and rebirth in the unending span of time itself.
