SnowBaz Oneshots

Defuse

This One Is Kind Of Sad, But Please Read It! The Ending Is Happy! Promise! Bye!

    --Me

*Basilton's POV*

I have to do it. It has to be now. I know it's going to happen one day, so why not get the pain over and done with? It's better for both myself, and for Simon, to do it now and get it out of the way.

"Baz?" I hear my love's voice call into our flat. I sigh because I know his cheerful voice won't be there for long. "It's me, Love!" I call back. I hear shuffling coming from down the hall as I start to take off my shoes and coat. "Baz!" Simon screams as he wraps his arms around me in a hug. He acts as if he won the lottery every time I come home from work. I love it. I'm going to miss it...
"What's wrong, Darling?" Simon asks concerned as he notices my change in mood. My love pulls away from me, taking my hand and leading me to the sofa. I sit down next to him and try to avoid eye contact. I don't want to do this, but I know I have to. If I don't, I'll just be saving my pain for later. "What happened? Is everything okay? Wait, don't answer that, obviously something isn't right. Come on, Darling. What wrong?" Simon als as he starts to stroke my hair. I lean into his warm hand, savoring the touch as long as possible. "We have to talk." I start out. Simon's face contorts in worry and he pulls back his hand from my head. I have to keep myself from whimpering at the loss. Simon shifts around till his legs on on the couch in front of him and his entire body is facing me. I don't want to look up at his face. If I do, I might not go through with it. I feel him take my hand in his, his thumb rubbing small circles on my palm. I feel hot tears build in my eyes, but I push them back. I can't break so soon. "Simon, just know I don't want to do this." I try again. This time I hear Simon make a noise. I still don't look up. "Baz? Please tell me what's wrong." Simon pleads with me. His grip on my hands tighten, and I know what he is thinking. I would love to say he is wrong, but I can't. Simon is right. "Simon, I truly don't want to do this, but I have to. It's going to happen at some point, and it would be better for the both of us in the long run of it happens sooner rather than later." I stop to take a deep breath. My hands are starting to shake, and I know that the tears are starting to break the barrier. "Darling, are you..." Simon tries to say, but his sentence never finishes. I hear his breathing start to quicken, loosing it's even pace. I don't want to hurt him, but I need to do this. "I'm sorry, Simon. I am, believe me. But we both knew that this was going to happen eventually, we weren't made to stay together forever. It wasn't in our stories."

"Baz! Please don't do this! I-I-I can't, won't- Baz! Why? What did I do? I'll change! I can be better, Baz! Anything, I'll do anything!" Simon pleads. Before I know it, Simon pulls my face to his. His soft, warm lips crack against mine. I don't listen back, it will stop me. I feel hot tears stream down Simon's face and onto mine. I grab his face and push him away gently. I see the hurt on his face as I break my promise to myself to not look at his face. Simon's blue eyes are dark in sadness, his whole face red, and his body is shaking. I pull away my hands and stare at him, making sure that I don't stop myself. "Don't change, Simon. Don't change for anyone. You are amazing. And that's why it has to end. I'm not enough for you, Simon. You need someone like you. Someone who kind, loving, and perfect. Someone that isn't me. I love you, Simon. I do. That's another reason why I am doing this now. I love you, and I want you to have everything you want and need. That isn't me." I stop to breathe. By now, my face is flooded with salty tears, so is Simon's. "Darling, please...I love you. So, so much. Please don't leave me, I need you. You are the one for me. Baz, I-I can't be without you. You are the one I need in my life. You are my life. Baz, you are amazing. Please don't leave me, I won't be able to take it. I can't take it. Please, Darling, please..." Simon begs me. I watch as he crawls into my lap, his chest pressed against mine and he sobs on my shoulder. I want to wrap my arms around him and hold him. Protect him. Tell him that everything is going to be okay. I can't. "Simon, you know I don't want to do this-"