SnowBaz Oneshots

Right Here

I'm So So So So Sorry!!! Please Forgive Me! School Has Been Awful And My Mind Hasn't Been Treating Me Nicely Lately...I Hope This Chapter Makes Up For The Waiting! Bye!

--Me

*Basilton's POV*

"Please, Love, say something." I beg Simon. All he does is stare into space, exactly what he has been doing for the last 6 months. Ever since the battle with The Mage, Simon has been anything but himself. He hasn't spoken one word, he eats two bites a day, and he never sleeps, even when he tries, Simon only has nightmares that wake him. It's terrifying. I'll wake to Simon's screams and see him thrashing around, sometimes even hurting himself, in his sleep. I hate, absolutely hate, seeing him so miserable. I want to help, I try to help, but nothing I do seems to get him out of his stupor. Bunce has tried too, but even her magic, both real and unreal, isn't enough. The only time my love shows signs that he is still alive is when he is in pain, both physical and emotional. When it's physical, it's usually him screaming. When it's emotional, it's like he is dying from the I side out. He will cry, but no sound leaves his mouth. He will squeeze my hand like it's the only thing that is holding him in this world, and I have no doubt that it isn't. And worst of all, he has tried to hurt himself on purpose. I can still remember every single detail of when I found him in the restroom with a blade to his wrist. Luckily, I had come home from uni early, I don't know what I would've done, or what would've happened, if I was too late. I try to not think about it.

I hate leaving him. I try to be with him as much as I can, but I also have to go to uni and feed. Father would kill me if I quit uni, and I will starve if I don't go hunt at least three times a week; plus, I can't help Simon if I'm completely dead. Every time I leave, I can't help but thinking of that day when Simon had a blade. I told him he is never going to do that again, but all he did was nod his head as he bawled. I admit, I cried too. How could I avoid it? My love could've just killed himself, I had a right to cry. Though, sometimes when I think about it, I cry more.

All I want is for Simon to be Simon again. To laugh until he cries, eat insane amounts of sour cherry scones, and stay up all night watching films. And, selfishly, I want him to kiss me again. I miss the way his warm, chapped lips melded with mine. The way his fingers would comb through my hair in just the right way. It's selfish and wrong. I shouldn't be worrying about kissing Simon when he is obviously in pain and needs me. I just can't help it though. Ever since our first kiss, it's like I'm addicted to his lips. I haven't kissed him in 6 months, and all I want to do is mash our lips together, praying that maybe that will wake him up. It's foolish and wishful thinking, I know.

I feel hot tears build in my eyes as I continue to stare at Simon as he looks off to nowhere. I just want my Simon back. "Simon, Love, please, say something. I don't know what to do!" I plead with him. My body starts to shake, sobs threatening to come out, but I try to keep my composure. 'He needs me.' I repeat over and over in my head. His head turns towards me, and for a split second I think he is going to say something, but his lips remain closed. All he does is stare at me. Then I see tears fall down his face. "Simon?" I question, "What's wrong, Love? Please don't cry, I didn't want to make you upset. Love, come on, it's okay. I'm right here. I'm never leaving, okay? It's okay." I try to comfort him as tears continue to fall silently down his flushed, yet still gorgeous, face. I crawl onto the couch with him, pulling his too small body to me. All he does is wrap his warm arms around my waist as he cries into my chest. I never meant for him to cry; I just wanted for him to be happy.

Eventually, I notice that Simon's breathing evens out and he falls asleep against me. I would wake him up so he can sleep in a comfortable bed, but I don't. He rarely ever sleeps, so I'm going to give him as long as he can now. However, I still need to bathe before I can go to bed.
I slowly pry Simon's hands off of me, trying to be as gentle as possible as I get up and lay him on the couch, and go to the bathroom to wash myself.

*Fifteen Minutes Later*

I slip and fall as I hear a bloody curdling scream. 'Simon!' My mind screams. I quickly scramble to my feet and pull on a pair of pants as I race to the living room, not bothering to turn off the running water. I feel water drop down my chest and back from my hair, but I barely notice it, I need to get to Simon.

"Simon!" I yell as I enter the living room and see him thrashing around on the sofa, nails scratching his own arms. I rush to his side and pull him into me. "Simon, wake up! Wake up!" I scream as he continues to claw both himself and myself. My voice doesn't faze him in the least. "Come on, Love. You need to wake up! I'm right here! Please wake up!" I beg him. His hands cling onto my bare arms as he jolts awake. "Baz!" Simon screams. That's when I go stiff. Simon just said something. Simon just said my name. My love used his voice and said a word. I have been trying to get him to say something for months, and he just said something out of the blue. "Simon?" I ask shakily, trying not to break whatever spell is over him. Simon falls into my chest, sobbing as he clings onto me. "Y-You, th-th-then- but-" Simon tries to say but is continuously cut off by sobs. I'm too stunned to even notice his stuttering. His voice sounds exactly the same. We, Bunce and myself, thought that when he would finally talk his voice would be scratchy and he would have to go to speech therapy. However, it's like nothing changed. It's still soft and silky, but still holds its edges and octaves. It's amazing to hear again. Then I feel hot tears fall over my chest and realize that Simon, even though he is talking, still needs me.

"It's okay, Love. It's okay. I'm right here. It was just a nightmare, it'll be alright. Calm down, I'm right here. I love you. So much. It's okay." I whisper over and over again into his ear. After what seems like hours, and may even be hours, Simon stops sobbing and crying, but his body still shakes and his mouth releases hiccups. "Baz?" Simon voices. I'm still not used to him talking again, it brings a shiver up my spine each time. "I'm right here, Love. I'm not going anywhere." I promise him. I pull him impossibly closer to me, my back pressed against the sofa and Simon's head tucked under my chin. I rub one of my hands up and down his back, sometimes stopping to rub soft circles that I know calm him. My other hand stay in his golden hair. Pulling out the tangles, massaging his scalp when another sob shakes him unexpectedly. I feel his take a deep, shaky breath as he tries to say something again. He has been trying to form a complete sentence since he woke up, but he never gets through it. I let him take his time, all the time he needs. "B-B-B-Baz, I-I w-want, will- p-p-please, ugh." He tries to say.
"Don't rush, Love. It's okay, I'm listening." I tell him with a kiss to his temple. He shivers, but nods his head.

I've been tempted to call Bunce several times, but I won't. I know she deserves to have an update on Simon, but right now we don't need her blubbering. Simon just a needs someone to calm him down, and I'm here for that. I always will be.

I feel Simon's body start to tremble against mine and know that he is crying again. I'm aware that I said i wanted him to talk forever earlier, but I know that Simon needs rest right now. My love should be asleep in our bed, safely tucked in my arms.

"Shh."

"I just-"

"Hush."

"I worry-"

"Don't.

"But-"

"Simon."

"Baz?"

"Here."

I feel Simon's body grow heavier as he gives up on trying to fight the sleep that I know is trying to take him. Honestly, it's starting to take me too. I sigh happily as I hear Simon's breathing even out and his tears stop falling. I slowly get up, picking up Simon in my arms, and carry him to our bedroom. When I reach the bed, I lay him down and immediately lay next to him, hugging him to my chest. I want to stay here forever. Maybe I will. I'll always stay here with my love. Right here forever.

Well, There It Is! Hope You Liked It!! Also...4K Reads!!!!!!!!! Thank You Guys A Million!! And One More Thing...#1 In SnowBaz!!! Thank You So So Much!!! I Will Try To Get The Next Chapter Done Sooner! Bye!

--Me