I got up and threw on an old pair jeans and a T-shirt to drop Emily off with my mother so that I could go meet Jared for lunch. We had been separated for almost six months now and I put this off for as long as I possibly could. My breaking point came when he started begging me to let him come home.
I had no intention of getting back together and I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to cause a fight, but I just couldn't allow him to hurt me anymore. Not just me, but Emily as well. She was getting older and understood that daddy didn't live with us anymore. It took a while, but she had finally adjusted to it. The way I saw it, things would never be the same again. How could I ever trust him?
I wasn't looking forward to the meeting at all. I told him that I would drop off Emily, meet him for lunch, and give him my decision. He, of course, wanted to come home and forget all about what he did, but I couldn't pretend it didn't happen. I still cry sometimes, but I've gotten a lot stronger in the past few months.
I took Emily by the hand and led her to the car seat for the drive over to mom's house. Grandma planned to take her to the park and she was all excited. She ate her dry cereal as I made the ten minute drive and it still amazed me just how much Em was like him. He was forever walking around with a handful of cereal or nuts, a pathetic excuse for a meal.
I parked the car and released her from the seat. As soon as I freed her, she raced up to the door, opening it and stepped inside. "Grandma! Grandma!"
Mom picked her up, "There's my girl!"
"Mom, I won't be long. We are just having lunch and I'll be back to pick her up. Thanks for keeping her on such short notice."
"Good luck with him, I hope you are making the right decision Kristen." She liked Jared from the very beginning and I knew that his unfaithfulness disappointed her, but even after what he did, she was still civilized to him.
"I'm doing what I have to do, mother. You of all people should understand that." My father was no better, he cheated on her and she wasted no time in kicking his lying ass to the curb. She thought I was making a mistake by not giving him another chance, but at the same time she understood. Jared had everything, but threw it all away like we meant nothing to him. I had put up with more than she knew, late nights after shows with, 'friends' and his endless flirting with fans each and every time we were out. I mean, who knows how far things actually went when I wasn't there.
"Bye Mommy." Emily ran over to me, hugging my legs. I leaned down to hug her back. "Be a good girl for grandma. I'll be back soon."
Driving slowly, my belly was already turning, dreading seeing him again. I turned into the parking lot, instantly noticing his truck and parking next to it. He got out as soon as he saw me and I noticed that his hair was shorter than the last time I saw him. He was also clean shaven. God help me, he was still sexy as hell and my heart ached just seeing him, even after everything that's happened. He smiled at me as he approached, but made no move to touch me. He was dressed in blue jeans, a white T-shirt, and of course, the classic sunglasses he couldn't seem to go anywhere without. I knew how this lunch would end, and it wasn't going to be good. He was being the perfect gentleman, opening doors and walking behind me, pulling my chair out. He complimented me even though I didn't even bother with makeup or a fancy outfit. It didn't matter, I watched as he pulled his chair closer to mine and removed the sunglasses. He wasted no time at all with small talk. "So... You know what I want."
I took a deep breath and avoided looking him in the eye. I tried to focus my attention on the table. Before I was able to even respond to him, the waiter came over to take our order. We ordered food, even though I knew I'd never be able to eat. He glared at me "Okay, well?"
I rolled my eyes right back at him and then glanced around the room. "Jared I've given this a lot of thought, and I'm just not interested in saving this marriage. I've changed over these past few months and I just can't do it anymore."
I watched him flinch as if I had punched him, bringing back that god awful ache of heartbreak. "Not even for Emily? You wouldn't do that for her? Fuck my feelings, but what about hers?" He was trying to use Emily to make me feel even worse. Typical Jared. I knew he would do this.
"That's not fair Jared! Don't you dare bring her into this." I watched him shake his head in disbelief that someone actually had the balls to stand up to his spoiled ass and told him no. God knows he wasn't used to that.
"Please. I've said that I'm so fucking sorry over and over. What do you want me to do? I'll do anything! Counseling? I just want a chance to fix what I've fucked up. I love you Kristen." He looked desperate and it was killing me, it's like I was walking into that hotel room all over again.
"Jared I've already spoken to an attorney about a divorce."
