I was unable to hold myself back any longer. I missed her so much. I missed the way she looked when she first woke up in the morning. I missed the smell of her hair. I missed the way she moaned my name when I was inside of her. I missed everything about her and not having sex was starting to kill me. All I wanted was her pinned under my body in OUR bed.
I took my chance, backing her into the wall and before she could react, I kissed her. To my surprise her hands moved around my neck and she kissed me back. Her lips parted just enough for my tongue to slip past them and into her warm mouth. Fuck, she smelled so good. She groaned when my hand moved down along the outside of her leg, pulling it up and wrapping it around my waist.
Breaking away to catch my breath, she bit my bottom lip, tugging on it with her teeth. My hand slid up under her blue T-shirt, caressing the soft skin of her breast. She moaned again as I bit along her neck. "Fuck, I want you." I whispered into her ear, grinding my hips into hers like so many times before. I was already panting, dying for her to touch me.
She froze and tensed up, causing me to look into her eyes. I was so lost in what was happening, I didn't hear her telling me to stop. The tears in her eyes brutally snapped me back into reality. She pushed me away. "You have to go! I can't do this Jared."
"I know that you miss my touch, I could feel it. I'm tired of being apart, I'm sick of living without you." I couldn't help it. I was angry at her for pushing me away. I was angry at the fact that she denied her feelings for me. I moved closer, desperate for her to reconsider, but she only shoved me again. "Kristen, please." I begged.
"I'm sorry Jared, I had a moment of weakness, but I'm NOT going to sleep with you. Go home Jared!" She yelled, the tears streaming down her face.
"Did you sleep with him?" I knew that she didn't, but I was so pissed off at her for pushing me away. I just needed to hear her say it for my own personal satisfaction.
"None of your business!" She walked to the door and held it open. "Goodbye."
I shook my head and walked past her, out the door and glancing back to see it slam closed. Driving home, it took all I had not to call a 'friend' and have them hook me up. I could easily have a girl at my place within the hour, but that wouldn't help with the pain in my chest. I got home and sat on the couch in my empty house. The tension in my shoulders was starting to really bother me. I knew that I needed to take the edge off. Tossing my phone on the table, I walked into the bathroom.
I pulled my clothes off and got in the shower. Wrapping my hand around myself, I slowly moved my fist up and down. All I could think about was her. I wanted her to want me tonight. I would give anything for that. The hot water ran down my tense body as I continued having flashes of memories in my mind of happier days.
Letting my thumb slide over the head, I continued stroking my hardened cock. Occasionally cupping my balls, I knew that I was getting closer as the thought of my body pressed against hers pushed me on further.
My hand moved faster up and down my shaft and I knew I was about to cum, but stopped myself. I was gasping hard and the ache of stopping and it was making me crazy, but I wasn't ready to give in just yet. Giving myself a few minutes to calm down, I grabbed the base again and squeezed lightly, I moved my hand up and down again, slower. My cock was so hard at this point and I knew that I couldn't hold back much longer. I continued faster and faster until I groaned loudly, exploding onto the tile in front of me. I rested my head against the cool ceramic, breathing heavily and laughing to myself. 'Jared Leto gets himself off in the shower, how fucking pathetic!' I knew she was seeing someone so why didn't I? I couldn't do it, not if I intended to fight for Kristen.
After catching my breath, I let the water run over my head and down my body. My muscles were so exhausted and I felt defeated. After standing in the shower for I don't even know how long, I got out and dried off. Since Emily was at mom's, I didn't even bother with clothes. I just got into bed naked and lay there, feeling that unbearable ache in my heart. At some point I finally drifted off.
I got up the next day, determined to win my wife back and got dressed. Having no appetite at all, I went shopping for some things for Emily before heading over to mom's. I didn't say anything about what happened with Kristen, but she knew something was up. She always knew when something was wrong. Not wanting to get into it, I pretended that I didn't know what she was talking about and left with Emily.
I brought Em back with me and made us some food. After we ate, I sat on the floor playing dolls with my daughter. The depression set in, but I had to pretend all was well in front of my little girl. When I left to go back on tour, I would miss her terribly and knew our time was getting shorter. This thought only added to the unbearable pain.
