Even though we had one fuck, I was tired of her pushing me away. I was positive that she would come around, but lately it seemed as if she didn't really want me back at all. I honestly thought that after that night together we would get closer, but I was wrong.
My mind was spinning at how fast things changed from one extreme to the other and all within a few hours. I was trying to understand how she could be so warm and loving one minute, to pushing me away the next. I never quite got it, so I gave up. For the next day, if I didn't call or text her, then we didn't talk.
I was debating on getting a Christmas tree for Emily. I spent a lot of time alone that day, thinking about what I wanted. No matter what, I knew I wanted my family back. I needed Kristen in my life, but I was tired of trying. I was tired of trying to convince her that I was sorry for cheating on her.
Thanksgiving day was difficult, not speaking to Kristen until it was time to get Emily. I offered no explanation as to why I didn't call or text. I was just done. If this was the way she wanted it to be, I'd just have to accept it.
I was lonely and bored and kept telling myself that after the holidays I was leaving to go on tour. That would keep me busy and I wouldn't have time to sit around and think so much.
One night Kristen called me and I went over in the afternoon. She had gotten a small Christmas tree and had the gifts for Emily under it. I stood there shocked at the puny little excuse for a tree. "That's a Christmas tree? It's so little." I frowned at that tiny pathetic thing.
She frowned at me. "Well, I didn't want a big tree this year."
The three of us went out to eat that night and the whole flirting thing was back, but only stronger. We put on a movie for Emily and were enjoying a quiet night, like so many times before. I thought Emily was going to give us problems going to bed, but she didn't. Once the movie was over, I carried her upstairs and gave her a bath before curling up with her in her little bed until she fell asleep.
A little over an hour later, I sauntered downstairs and snuggled next to Kristen, who was still sitting on the couch. She dropped her phone. "Want a back massage?"
Really?" I asked, backing up and giving her a goofy grin. She was definitely in a good mood.
"Yes, really!" She flashed me that big smile I love so much.
"Hell yes! Is that even a question?" Like I'd ever say no to those soft hands on my body.
"Come with me." She said, pulling her hair down and handing me her hair tie. I followed Kristen up the stairs and into my former bedroom. I gathered my hair into a bun and pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it on the floor. I watched her march over to the dresser and grab a bottle of lotion. "Lay down."
She waited for me to lay face down on the comfortable mattress and climbed over me, placing a knee on each side of my body. The lotion was cold and I jumped as it trickled onto my back. Thankfully, it warmed up when she began rubbing it over my skin and the smell of coconut brought back so many memories.
She used to do this for me when I was stressed out or sore from doing some crazy stunt on stage. I could feel the tension slowly disappearing from my body. I swear, her hands are like magic. The pillow smelled like her hair and every time she leaned forward, working my shoulder blades, the tips brushed against my back. I was so relaxed by the time she was done, I didn't even want to move. When she climbed off of me, I pounced, pulling her back down on the bed. Surprisingly, she never even tried to get away. Instead, she looked up at me and ruined the moment. "I have some questions for you."
"Okay, what are they?" I asked playfully, thinking she wanted to have a casual conversation.
"They are about the girl you cheated on me with." Her expression completely changed and I felt sick. How many times was she going to bring this up?
