I watched him up on his knees, staring down at me as I spoke, I told him my only rule, this was only sex and nothing more. He nodded, sliding the palm of his hand up my stomach, pushing his tattered and faded shirt all the way up. Continuing his path directly between my breasts, he wrapped his hand around my throat, squeezing slightly.
Eventually, he go and ran his thumb over my bottom lip before pushing it into my mouth. I was so busy sucking on it, I didn't even feel his other hand until I heard the sound of my panties ripping. Fuck, I used to love when he got a little rough with me. He leaned down to kiss me softly, almost lovingly. It had been so long since we last had sex and once he understood that this was only physical, I was tearing at the button of his jeans.
We were both frantically pushing them down his hips, desperate for skin on skin contact. I reached down to stroke him against my wetness, listening to his deep groans and releasing a few of my own. He grew impatient, reaching down and pushing my hand away only to guide himself inside of me. My legs immediately wrapped around his waist.
He dropped down to his elbows, his hand wrapping around the back of my neck and tilting my head up. His face was so close to mine that every movement of his hips caused his mouth to brush against mine. Letting out a moan, his mouth covered mine to silence me. The last thing either of us wanted was to wake Em. I cherished moments like this where he could be so rough, yet gentle at the same time. The way he kissed me was so sweet and intimate and I knew there was no way I could stay away from him from this point on. All these years later and I was still addicted to him like a junkie.
I stared up at the tattoo on his collarbone when he held himself over my body. I tried so hard to maintain minimal eye contact, but he made a point of staring directly into my eyes with every thrust. I was desperately trying to keep quiet for fear of waking Emily, but the movement of his hips was sending me into shudders of pleasure as I let go.
He let out small groans as he erupted inside of me. His hips slowed to a stop and he moved next to me, collapsing on the bed, panting. He was still trying to catch his breath when I looked over at him. "Jared I don't want to confuse Emily. You can sleep in the guest room."
"Are you really going to make me go sleep in the other room?" He asked with his arm over his eyes.
"I just don't want to confuse her. She will ask questions that I'm not prepared to answer." I felt a little bad, but I really didn't want to have to explain myself to my child.
"She's four, what could she possibly ask?" He looked up at me, still breathing heavily.
"Can you just do as I ask?" I didn't want a fight, but he was seriously pissing me off. He moved closer, wrapping his arm around me, but I wasn't giving in. "Like I said before, we aren't back together." I reminded him.
"I know." He got up and slipped his jeans back on. "Goodnight." He said walking out the door. "Not really night."
I did feel a little guilty for not showing him any affection afterward, but I couldn't help it. Maybe I should've let him stay in the bedroom for a while. After he left, I found myself lying on his side of the bed, inhaling his scent. I didn't feel any better now than I did earlier. It was just the fact that he cheated on me and the realization that I missed him so much it physically hurt.
