I drove us to the zoo and our friendly conversation seemed to flow easily. I wanted to make sure Em had a good day and therefore my questions for Jared would have to wait until later. She was all that mattered and I faked a smile, making sure that the day would be a happy memory for my daughter.
I couldn't help but think about how much I missed this, missed the old Jared and the fun times we had together as a family. I parked the car and Jared carried Emily through the parking lot, playfully teasing her like he always did. She was such a daddy's girl.
The three of us walked around the zoo for a few hours, enjoying the different exhibits. It was almost noon when we finally decided to leave and take her to the park for a picnic. Emily was extremely talkative and she only picked at her food. I knew she was getting tired just by her eyes. "How late did she stay up last night?" I asked, knowing my child well enough to know that she was ready for a nap.
Jared cringed at my question and quickly looked away. "Ugh, well, I think it was just after midnight when she finally crashed out."
"Jared! Her bedtime is nine, maybe ten at the latest. No wonder she looks so exhausted. What were you two doing?" I twisted the cap back onto my bottle of water and put it down in front of me, patiently waiting for his excuse this time. God, he spoiled her so much, not wanting to be the one who kept the rules and always trying to be the fun parent.
He looked at her and then back over to me. "We were watching movies. Uncle Shannon came over and we went out for ice cream. We came back to watch one of her movies and I didn't realize it was that late. I'm sorry."
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Let's just get ready to go, I guarantee she's gonna fall asleep in the car." I got up and threw the trash from our lunch in the garbage can. "You tired baby?" I looked down at my daughter, who had her arms around Jared's neck. Nodding her head, she giggled wildly when he cradled her like a baby, kissing her rosy little cheeks. He released her and stood up, stretching his body before picking Emily back up and carrying her to the car.
Jared insisted on carrying her around all the time, but she was getting bigger and it would be coming to an end soon. He put Em in the car seat and informed me that he would be driving back. Within minutes she was out. "Hey, do you think that you could go Christmas shopping with me for Emily?" He asked, unexpectedly.
"Yeah, I can do that. When?" I inquired. There were so many new toys that Emily wanted and I wasn't sure why he needed my help, but I wasn't going to tell him no. This may be the perfect time to ask him what had been on my mind all day.
He shrugged his shoulders, "How about Tuesday? My mother would love to have Emily for a few hours."
"That's fine." I said flatly, peeking back at Em and making sure she was sleeping good. Her head was tilted to the side and I decided to go ahead and ask him about 'her.' "So, Jared, the redhead that you cheated on me with, what was her name?" The second the words left my mouth, his facial expression changed and he was shifting in his seat.
He let out a deep breath, "Why?" I mentally pat myself on the back for asking while he was driving and couldn't escape the uncomfortable question.
"Funny thing, I just happen to run into her at the club when I was with Matt. She couldn't wait to tell me all about her affair with you." I watched as he shook his head and narrowed his eyes. He was absolutely seething mad.
"First of all, there was no affair! I was only with her once and I don't appreciate you bringing this up in front of Emily."
I folded my arms and couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes. "Uh, Jared, Emily us asleep."
Ignoring my statement altogether, his tone was angry. "You saw her? Here in LA?"
"Yes and she's lucky that I didn't rearrange her face." My lip quivered and I looked out the window. "I just wish that you would've told me that you wanted to be with someone else before you actually did it behind my back." I tried not to cry, but a few tears slipped out and streamed down my face.
"I never wanted anyone else, I still don't. Things between us changed and I was stupid. I should've talked to you about it, worked it out. I'm sorry. I know that I fucked up, but, it was only once and that's the truth." He was insistent that she was lying and then an awkward silence settled between us until he pulled up at the house.
I may have been crazy, but I wanted to believe him. I wanted to think it was only once and that he had no feelings for her. Then again, he's lied and cheated on me before. I unlocked the door and he carried Emily up to her bed. He pulled her shoes off and lay her down on the mattress. I stood in the doorway, watching him gently caress her face. He loved her so much and I blotted the tears pooling at the corner of my eyes. I followed him into the kitchen. "Want something to drink?" I asked, holding up a bottle of juice.
He took it from my hand, making sure to press his muscular body against mine just as he reached past me to grab a glass from inside the cabinet. His face was directly in front of mine and my lip began to tremble. I could feel his warm breath against my face and swallowed hard staring at the stubble on his chin. How was it possible that someone could fill me with rage and make me want him at the same time? Jesus, I was more fucked up than I thought.
