I left Ashley's place pissed off at Kristen for actually going through with this fucking date. We were still married and that made her no better than me. Separated or not, you can't simply remove your wedding ring and say that you're single again, at least not until the divorce is final. I refused to sign anything or agree to any kind of visitation and planned to hold things up for as long as I possibly could. She knew better than to think that I would give up so easily.
This whole thing wasn't fair to Emily, I mean, she was already constantly being shoved from one home to another, which I thought would only be temporary. How long could Kristen keep this up? I knew she missed me, I could see it on the few occasions where I've snuck in a kiss. She still loved me, that isn't gone, but how could she just go out with some random guy?
I want to Shannon's house to stop myself from going over there. I knocked on the door, pacing back and forth while waiting for him to answer the door. He knew something was up the second he looked me in the eye. "What's wrong?"
I strolled past him, not bothering to be invited inside. Sitting on the couch, I was resting my head on my hands. "She's on a fucking date!" I knew I sounded panicked, but I couldn't help myself at all. Was this a panic attack? Anxiety? Maybe I was just not used to not being in control.
He leaned against the wall, "Well, you knew that would happen at some point. I'm sorry, I'm sure that's gotta be pretty rough. I get that you're upset, but there really isn't anything that you can do about it. You are still legally married as of right now, so, it's not over yet." He tried to reassure me. "Jared, think of Emily. I know you're upset, but don't do anything stupid. She needs you."
Emily...... My thoughts took me back to the day we found out Kristen was pregnant.
-Flashback-
We were in the doctor's office and I honestly didn't know what the hell was wrong with Kristen. She had been so sick and I just sat there, listening to her doctor babble, holding her test results in his hand as he took his sweet ass time letting us know what was up. He finally asked if we knew that she was pregnant. I thought for sure Kristen had the flu, but I never even considered the possibility of her being pregnant. I was in complete shock and didn't know what to do with this news.
Afraid of what could possibly come out of my mouth, I kept quiet. She was happy I could tell, but trying her best to downplay it. Feeling like I may pass out, I told them that I needed some air and I walked outside. I got into my truck and sat there taking deep breaths and struggling to not think that my life as I knew it was over.
She finally came out and got in the truck. "I know that you're upset about this. I didn't really want to talk about it right now, I just feel so sick and all I want to do is lay down." She admitted as she looked out the window.
"I'm sorry if It seems like I don't care, I'm just trying to process all of this." I said, looking around at the cars in the parking lot. The drive home was silent, neither of us was sure what to say. Pulling up at the house, she opened the door and I grabbed her arm stopping her.
"Look, I'm sorry that I walked out. I just wasn't expecting to hear that. I'm not going anywhere if that's what you're thinking." I grabbed her hand holding it. "Let's get inside so you can lay down."
It took me a little time to get used to the idea of becoming a father, but I just thought that if I'm going to do this, I may as well go all the way with it. I ended up proposing to her a short time later. The wedding was kind of rushed and then a few months later, Emily joined us. The day that she was born and placed into my arms was one of the best days ever. She was so tiny and perfect and I couldn't believe that perfect little girl was created by us.
-End of flashback-
"Jared are you going to answer me?" Shannon stood in front of me snapping his fingers in my face. "I was asking you who has Emily right now?"
"Kirsten's mother." I spit out and got up pacing back and forth. "I can't believe that she is on a date. I mean, I really thought that she would've gotten over what happened by now."
"Are you listening to yourself? Seriously, you did cheat on her. It's not like you forgot an anniversary or something. Sometimes women never get over something like that. I'm not sure that's something that I could just get over." He said, standing there with his arms folded.
"I know what I did, I get that! Fuck, are you taking her side? You know what? I gotta go."
I walked to the door with him following behind me. "Jared! Wait, I'm on your side. I've just been on the receiving end before and that shit hurts. Don't go."
I got in my truck and drove past Kristen's house, relieved to see her silhouette walk past the window and no strange cars parked outside. The lights were still on, so least she was home and alone. I parked across the street and just sat there feeling sorry for myself, staring at my former residence. I had no idea how long I was there, but when the lights started going out, I drove home feeling a little better.
