dear mom,
why don't you understand me?
I have really really bad anxiety and depression.
when i say 'no' why can't you just take it and let it like that?
I mean it.
I don't want to talk people I don't know. I told you I'm afraid and you didn't have respect.
I don't understand this. for real now.
why should children or even teenager or idc who,why should we have respect of our parents,if they have no respect to us?
I want to be respected.
I'm tired of it all.
so mom.
i'm sorry for being such a failure and for never respecting you,I know it's all my fault,but that i want to die is yours. I'm sorry for saying that even if you're sick or whatever your character doesn't change and I'm tired of it. we don't see each other that often,because I don't want to see you. I want to spend time with my friends and have a happy life and if you're in my life I can't be happy. I'm sorry for saying this so mean,but I really want to be honest.
why can't you understand that every word you're telling me is hurting me?
you're saying mean thing without knowing and that hurts.
fuck you.
I'm sorry for being the daughter you never wanted,but I can't anymore. there is just one reason why I want to fight and it's not you.
please don't think you're important to me,because even if you were,i'd not fight for you. maybe you're crying now,because you know,you're one of the reasons, but hey. you're still alive right? isn't that the most important thing? everyone says "oh my god she's cancer she's almost dead" but what's with the people,who are already dead inside? why don't they count? why is nobody helping them? why? I don't understand it. there is no reason to help them,right? if you ask them how they are or if you ask me how I am,i should just say "yeah I'm fine,just tired that's all" ,right?! it's just because you don't want to hear that "I'm so sad I'm think about killing myself" you just want me to smile and you can continue,right? and you can't say no. because you are the reason,why I want to die.
I hate you.
