I want to be happy in 2019.
2018 was just to prepare for 2019.
2019 i want to be back.
it's so fucking hard,but i want to be strong.
but i want to fail the same time too.
i want to tell everyone 'i'm fine' and then kill myself.
i don't even understand myself.
i'm just surviving the next days or weeks and we'll see how it ends.
or more i'll try to.
I'll mess up.
and end like I started.
