today was one of the worst days in my life.
the day started good,only that I was eating too much,but i tried not to care.i was waiting at the bus station with my boyfriend,when my mom called me and said i have to go to the doctor. i was so shocked and almost started crying. i hated my life. i knew,my mom would see my new scars after the relapse and the doctor too. everything went good,nobody saw my scars,the doctor just asked how I am and I answered "I'm fine". LIES LIES LIES. then I was face timing with my boyfriend and learning for school,because of an exam tomorrow. in the evening I went out of the room and my pullover got over my bandage and my dad saw it. he said loudly "what's that on your arm?" I answered "what? there is nothing?!" and ran away from him.
I'm still shocked because now I'm in my room and I'm scared about tomorrow. I don't want to see my family,I just want to be with my boyfriend. but I know tomorrow will be hell. an english exam and in the afternoon my math teachers coming to help me with stuff. I'll get a lot of anxiety attacks and I'll always fake my smile. I'm so tired of that. tired of it all. ckamqjopsoqkxn I just want to die and stop fighting,because I only fight for him.
