Saviour. 》 g.d.

15; Time Keeps Ticking

"Why did you contact my parents?" I spoke.

My head began to feel slightly dizzy, worries running through my head. I needed clearance, but they were beating around the bush, and it was driving me insane!

I was sitting up straight on the bed now, beside Grayson, and Ethan staring at me from his chair. They both seemed wide awake, which indicated that they knew they were screwed. "Shay, of course we contacted your parents.. I know you don't want to talk to them, but they still deserve to know what's happening. Especially if it's something like this." Ethan stressed.

To be honest, I didn't fully understand why my parents got to me so much. It wasn't like I'd had a seriously rough childhood. Sure, I'd been mistreated, but I wouldn't say I've gone through hell and back. Not at all. I felt, there was a deeper, underlying reason to all of these emotions. I just refused to dig deeper. I refused, afraid of what I might find. What I might have to change. What I might have to face.

There was a thick cloud of tension, hanging in the room, in the air between the three of us. They were being very careful with their words and their voices; as if I was some kind of bomb, ready to go off at every wrong move they made. My hands were placed at the edges of the hospital bed, gripping on to them. The moonlight, coming through the window, lit up my legs, hanging over the edge of the bed. They looked thin and weak.

I almost didn't dare to ask the question, not wanting to know the answer to it, but I spoke up. "Is she on her way?" I asked them. We all avoided eachothers eyes. Grayson crossed his arms over his chest and clenched his jaw, the moonlight casting a shadow over his face as his eyes met mine. "She's landing tomorrow noon." He told me.

I broke eye contact and turned my head towards the window opposite me, then closed my eyes and took in a breath through my nose. I tried to understand, see it from their point of view, put myself in their shoes, but anger and embarrassment clouded my mind. Anger towards my parents, for not caring. For not paying attention. Embarrassment aimed towards myself, for not trying. For not proving them wrong. For not..

"Shay, she had the right to know all of this. Besides, we were basically responsible for-"

"That's not my point, and what happened to me was not your fault!" I said, raising my voice, startling myself. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. I looked down at my touching knees. It wasn't their fault. "When were you planning on telling me, if I hadn't found out tonight?" I asked, calmly, wanting an honest answer. "Obviously we would've told you, Shailene. We should've done it sooner... we should've." Ethan said. "But it's not fair to blame-"

"I just, want to go to sleep. Please, I don't want to think about it anymore." I scrunched my eyebrows, a feeling of despair clutching at my throat. My mother was going to flip out at me tomorrow. Of course the boys weren't at fault here, but I.. I was so frustrated. I looked beside me, where I laid sleeping just a few minutes ago. Grayson had sat up, and look contemplated as to whether he could just stay there or had to get up and grab a chair for himself. He looked at me with an unsure look in his eyes. "Do you want me to.." He asked me, but I shook my head. "No, you don't have to. Just give me some space, please." I whispered. Grayson scooted over a little, and I laid back down on the bed again, my back facing both Grayson and Ethan.

I tried to calm my mind by taking slow breaths, feeling anxious about seeing my mother tomorrow. Gosh, once again, how did I get myself into a situation like this? It seems like that was one of my talents, if I even had any.

* * *

I folded up my hospital dress and placed it on my bed, then glanced in the mirror look at my outfit, and myself. The clothes that still fit just a few weeks ago, were too big now that I'd lost weight. I looked even paler than usual, although I was regaining my energy, thank god. I was eating my food, and building up amounts, as the doctor advised me against completely bingeing. My metabolism had to adjust to a regular diet again, and I was eating only fruits and veggies, since I couldn't digest any heavy foods yet.