Saviour. 》 g.d.

20; Distance

Grayson's POV

I woke up because of someone's ringtone... and right after that, the bed started to shake, followed by shuffling around my room and some muttering into a phone.

I opened my eyes and caught a last glimpse of Shailene before she fleed from my room, as to not wake me up.

I couldn't prevent a smile from forming on my lips, as I rolled onto my back and put my arms underneath my head, staring up at the ceiling. I thought about last night and felt my heart skipping a beat thinking back to the kiss. It was a weird situation and it all happened so fast during our last evening together... It was something we definitely had to talk about and figure out between the two of us, which I hoped we could before she left. 

I let out a deep sigh, trying to shake off the giddy feeling inside of me. Shay had a strong effect on me... From the moment we met and got to talking. She had been on my mind 24/7 during her disappearance, and thinking about her leaving today... I wasn't gonna lie. It kind of hurt my heart, especially now that I felt like we had something going. 

All I could hope was that Shay didn't regret it... Fact was that it wasn't the right timing for any of this, which really sucked. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed her last night? Maybe I complicated things too much now. 

I rolled onto my left side and grabbed my phone off my nightstand. I took it off flight mode and checked any important notifications that I had. After that, I got out of bed and pulled the first shirt over my head that I could find and walked into the living area. I was curious to see where Shay was, but I didn't want to follow her around right now. 

I made myself some tea, when Shay walked into the living room. She was now fully dressed and gave me a quick nod, looking like she hesitated to say something before going into my room. 

There was definitely some awkward tension going on... and I hated it already.

I made us both a bowl of vegan yoghurt and some granola, and when Shay came out of my room with the few stuff she had in there, she smiled gratefully and walked into the kitchen. She placed her stuff on the counter and pulled out one of the bar stools to join me across the countertop.

'Thanks, Gray.' She said as she started eating. I shook my head at it. As we ate, we cracked a few jokes and spoke about our planning. She had called her mom, who will have her collected by car in an hour. That car will take them to the airport, which is about a forty minute drive... And there they'll load all the cars into 'their plane'. Shay was really weird about this part. Overall, she didn't like us asking about her family, but the fact that they had their own plane made me really curious as to what the hell her parents did for a living. All Shay had really told us, was that they had a big company at home and that they were quite well off.

After finishing our yoghurt, I helped Shay pack her last few bags. Together we checked the apartment, making sure she hadn't left any stuff behind. 

It was nearly 11 o'clock, and for some reason my heart was beating in my chest. We sat on the couch in the living room, the three of us, Shay's luggage in the hallway already. 

'So, Ethan...' Shay started, smirking at him. He raised his eyebrow at her, awaiting what she was going to say next. 'Promise me that, when I'm away, you'll talk to Kayleigh.' She smiled at him, and he stayed quiet for a few moments, then groaned and threw his head back. He rubbed his eyes, complaining. 'Dude, I haven't talked to her in weeks... I've been such a dick, there's no way we can just pick up where we left off.'

'So don't. That's not what I'm asking you either, but.. just talk to her. That's all. Maybe you can talk it through.' Ethan looked down at his lap, his phone resting beneath his fingers. 'I don't know, man..' He mumbled, looking genuinely hurt by the situation. 'At least talk it out and see what happens.' Shay said, staring at Ethan hopefully. The corners of her lips curled upwards as she watched Ethan try to fight a smile. He ran his fingers through his dark hair with a defeated look on his face.

'Alright, alright.'

Shay smiled boastfully. We watched Ethan pick up his phone and type something. A moment of silence followed as we waited for him to finish. Finally, he threw his phone beside him and crossed his arms over his chest. 'Done. I sent her a text to meet up.' He said, biting down on his lip and avoiding our gazes. I honestly hoped they could rekindle the spark they had weeks ago. They hadn't even had a date yet... Surely she would understand why he was so impersonal during such a tough time?

We sat there in silence for another few minutes, looking outside and waiting, when Shay's phone vibrated. Her car was ready outside. 

We all helped out, carrying some luggage downstairs, since she literally had five suitcases and bags. 

We walked out of the building, where the car was parked on the side of the road. The luggage was loaded into the car, and then it was time to say our goodbyes. I wave of profound sadness took control of my heart and filled my chest. First, Ethan and Shay hugged, and then she turned to me. Her blue eyes staring back at my brown ones.. Which was going to be the last time for a while probably. She walked up to me, and I took her in for what I expected to be a big hug... But instead, it was very short and distant. It took me by surprise, as I seemed to be hugging her tighter than she held me..

She even avoided my eyes afterwards and immediately turned away from me to open her car door. She gave us a last once-over and smiled brightly, before stepping into the car. Ethan and I waved at her as the car drove onto the road, taking Shay away from us. I couldn't help but feel my heart race, and not of happiness or nerves... but of sorrow. All I could think was...

Fuck.

* * *

I laid on the couch, The Fresh Prince of Bell-Air playing. My eyes were on the screen, but the visuals were just blurs, blending together and playing out before me. I wasn't processing any of it.. All I could think about, or, over-think about, was last night and this morning, and the sheer contrast between the two time periods.

She hadn't texted us at all. It had been two hours, so she was probably already in the air too. Was it too much to send a text, saying you were taking off? My regret slowly started to turn into irritation as I grew upset with the whole situation and the way Shailene was handling it. I couldn't read her at all this morning... Maybe she really did regret our kiss and our whole... night. 

I was feeling so many emotions at the same time. Thoughts clouded my mind and replayed over and over and over, overwhelming me more and more.. At one point, I turned off the TV and turned onto my back, placing my hands over my face and sighing deeply.

Why was it that this always happened? With every single girl I grew close to. I didn't understand it at all, but even less in this situation. I genuinely thought Shay and I... We had something going. But she didn't even seem open to discussing the matter today. She'd been avoiding it at all cost.

Ethan was out talking to Kayleigh, after I'd reassured him I was going to be fine. We'd had a brief talk about what happened with Shay, and Ethan agreed on how distant Shay had been just today. Even he'd sensed it. He'd described it as 'Confusion' and 'Wrong Timing'.

I disagreed.

Because I'd seen it before.

It was called Regret.

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