Saviour. 》 g.d.

19; Things are different

It was the end of the week. A Friday.

This morning I'd woken up, like usual, in between the boring, same, four white walls. I'd gotten dressed in my day clothes, and I'd had breakfast in the cafeteria like any other morning. I'd chatted with the nice lady behind the counter. I'd had a phone call with my mom. I'd read a book in the lounge room. I'd basically done everything I usually did during the mornings.

At 11 pm it was time for my last session, my last check-up with my therapist. I genuinely felt much better, retreating in here for a while. I'd learned some new things, like how to create healthy habits. Taking small steps, instead of expecting to miraculously get better within a day or two, had calmed my nerves and had actually given me a sense of confidence. I was finally working on myself. The only thing I was slightly stressing out about was the fact that I had to keep it going outside this building.

My mother had come to pick me up straight after this check-up. She stood in the entrance hall of the building, standing at a table with a coffee cup in front of her. She looked well-groomed and classy as always, a Celine bag hanging off her arm. Her eyes visibly lit up when she spotted me walking through the double doors to the entrance hall. I smiled as she embraced me in a hug. My bag hung on my shoulder and slid down my arm as I moved my arm to put it around my mother. 

'Good to have you back.' My mom whispered in my ear. I smiled, nodding my head. I knew she meant that in a greater scheme of things. Not just me being released from this hospital, but also me coming back to Australia. Me, working on myself. Me, despite still being a wreck, thinking more clearly than ever before. Me, reuniting with my family. 

We broke the hug, filled out some paperwork at the counter and left the building. My mom had a cab, parked in front of the building. I felt slightly disappointed the twins weren't here to drive my mom, or to pick me up, but I quickly pushed that feeling away. I knew it wasn't my mom's style to have people she knew, drive her around. Maybe they just thought of this as a private, family moment. 

We got in the cab, my mother in the front and me in the back. I watched as the building shrunk in the distance until we turned down another road and I couldn't see it anymore. 

I watched the palm trees and buildings flew by. It was a rather cloudy day. There wasn't any wind, at least, I didn't feel any as I stepped into the cab. I sighed, looking back down at my lap. I circled my wrist with my pointer finger and thumb, and there was still a huge gap present.

The drive wasn't that long. We pulled up in front of the twins' apartment complex within ten minutes. I stepped out, flinging my bag over my shoulder again. My mom paid the driver and followed me inside. 

'The flight is booked for tomorrow morning. You can choose to sleep with me in my hotel room, or here with the guys, that's entirely up to you.' My mom told me as she placed her sunglasses on top of her head. We walked into the elevator. I nodded, thinking about it for a brief moment, despite already knowing my final answer. There was no other option, I had to sleep with my mom in the hotel. I couldn't ask any more of the guys, after everything they'd done, and what I'd done to them... There was no way I could ask any more of them. I was too ashamed and I felt quite relieved, knowing I was leaving early tomorrow. I had to separate myself from them and start over. I didn't want to break up our friendship, no way... However, I didn't want to keep it going like this either. We all needed a break. 

The elevator doors opened again as we arrived on the right floor, and down the hall, I saw that familiar door. We walked up to it and, all of a sudden, my nerves increased. I knocked on the door,  heard some familiar voices shouting, and a few moments later, the door opened. I stood eye to eye with Grayson, who instantly started to smile at the sight of me. 'Hey, you guys. Come in, we just made dinner.' He said as he leaned over to give me a hug. Just a friendly hug, we broke up within two seconds.