Saviour. 》 g.d.

17; You need to fucking fix that

The day before

I closed the door the guest room, and plopped down on my bed, sighing deeply. I had trouble processing everything that had happened today. Getting released from the hospital, the fight with Ethan and Grayson, going by Jason and I's apartment to fetch my stuff. Then we picked up my mother at the airport, which was quite emotional. I thought about it again.

I didn't expect it at all, but I'd sensed a little happines within me when I saw my mother walk through the doors, at the airport. I broke down when I saw her, and we hugged for a good minute. I honestly think we'd never, ever, hugged like that before. Usually my mother wasn't that... loving. She was distant, hesitant to show any sign of appreciation for her own daughter. Like love was toxic.

I could tell how my appearance had shocked my mother. After we'd pulled away from the hug, she fell silent and took it all in. And I'd noticed her glancing over at me a few times later that day as well, when she thought I wasn't aware. But I couldn't blame her.. She barely recognized her own daughter anymore. And she didn't take it lightly.

In the late afternoon, we'd had a conversation. My mother broke the news that she wanted me to come back to Australia with her. This wasn't a request. My mother wasn't the type of women you could said 'no' to, especially in this situation. An argument was inevitable, as was the escalation of the argument. It wasn't my intention to fight with my mom on her first day seeing me, but I didn't want to leave America and go back to Australia.

Eventually I broke up the argument to take a breather. I could tell I wasn't thinking straight anymore, and I had to get my energy right before I continued talking to my mom. And so, there I was, walking down Redondo Beach, with Ethan and Grayson by my side. I was slowly calming down, thanks to the simple and peaceful conversationing. We were talking about absolute meaningless and irrelevant stuff, but it turned out to be the exact thing that made my mind lose track of what was going on.

Quite honestly, everything that seemed to have happened over the past few weeks, seemed somewhat surrealistic and made-up to me. Like my life was a book, and the writer was just making ridiculous stuff happen to spice it up. And it made me wonder where my story was heading, and how it was going to end.

'We could walk back and grab a bite at the restaurant there. I think it's called Bluewater Grill?' Ethan proposed, and Grayson and I nodded. It was dark out, and we'd walked almost all the way down the dock. The moon casted a reflection over the sea. The stars were almost invisible, here in the centre of Los Angeles. Grayson had assured me that they were visible where they lived over in New Jersey. I'd never really grown up, seeing the stars, as I'd lived in Brisbane all my life. The city lights outshone the bright, burning nightlights. 

Grayson looked over at me, nodding his head suggestively, and I agreed. 'Okay, let's do it.' We all turned on our heel instantly, and began to walk back to the boulevard. The sounds of the waves crashing against the boats and the dock gave off a serene vibe.

When we arrived at the restaurant, it was pretty full, but the twins promised they could pull some strings to get a table. It was against my principles to have them do that, but Ethan had run off before I could protest. Grayson and I waited outside, and an awkward silence chilled in the air around us.

I hated how everything had changed ever since I'd left the hospital. Ever since what happened really. Grayson and I had... something growing between the two of us, before I was taken away. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it, what it was, but it was as good as gone now, for some reason. The vibe between us, I meant. Because the fire in the pit of my stomach was still very much present, each time he looked at or touched me. However, now, it was like we were both ignoring those feelings. If he even still had them. We hadn't talked about it, ever; it wasn't really worth talking about. He probably didn't even feel the same way as I did. It was probably onesided too, that being my side. Or the feelings had just disappeared after what happened, maybe because I had changed. My vibe had changed and, consequently, the vibe between us too.